living with the bad boy

Chapter 15

Here I was fuming over the fact that Blake advised me to return "home", yet once Adam comes he wants both of us out? I did not understand him the slightest bit. He's as bipolar as the weather in Coachella and im starting to regret coming back. I appreciate the Mitchells I really do, but why be somewhere im not wanted? I mustered up the courage to confront Blake, hardening my facial features and stomping out of my room into his.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is but you do not get to waltz around acting like the head honcho, telling me to come home and then kicking my boyfriend out, acting resentful towards me. You can call me names, pull childish pranks on me, tell me you don't want me here but you cannot act like some seven year old boy who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas. I deserve bet-" before I could finish my sentence, Blake grabbed my waist, pulling me into him and crashing his lips against mine. Everything inside me was screaming to push him away but it seemed so right. I deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. He began to run his hands down my back, trailing kisses down my neck.  The warmth of his body made me feel secure, and at home. Before we got any further, Adam popped into my head. I felt sick

"Blake, no. We can't, I, it's not right. I'm sorry." I rushed, pushing him away and wiping my face with the back of my hand. His features hardened, he bit his lip before speaking up.

"It's just sex. Don't flatter yourself. I can have any girl I want, why on earth would I actually want you? You know what forget it, just get out. The moments gone anyways." He spat coldly. My heart sunk, I stood outside of his door, mouth ajar, tears threatening to fall.

"Asshole." I cried, barely audible. I shook my head, running a hand through my hair and walking back into my room. What a pig! Just sex my ass, I may be naive but that was not a lustful kiss. It was longing, it was what I felt with Adam.

I paced back and forth in my bedroom for hours, playing out the different possible scenarios in my head for when I tell Adam. I owe him that. If I don't tell him our relationship will be a mere lie and I can't live with that.
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"Hey, thanks for meeting me." I smiled, motioning for Adam to follow me. I led him through a narrow pathway, more of a shortcut, to the beach.

"Of course. Anything for you." He said kissing me, I didn't kiss him back. I could tell he noticed but he chose not to mention it. I let out a sigh staring into the vast ocean, thinking about what I could-what I would say.

"Yesterday, when you left. I was so angry and confused. I"

"Summer? What did you do?" He questioned, his voice laced with concern. His eyes beaming at me with hope as if he knew what I had done but he hoped he was wrong.

"Blake kissed me, and I let him. It- it was more than a kiss though, we did not have sex or anything but it wasn't just a peck." I confessed, surprised at how easily I had told the story. He stepped back, staring at me in disbelief, he then began to laugh.

"Good one, come on out Blake! Jokes over." He chuckled, looking around the vacant beach in search of Blake. When he didn't see Blake and I didn't speak he grew angry. His jaw clenched tightly.

"Look at me" he snapped coldly. I looked at him, his eyes glossy and hateful. He shook his head furiously.

"One day summer. We've been together one day and you couldn't even be faithful for five fucking minutes?!" He screamed aggressively, making me flinch. His hand came into contact with my face and I gasped. He didn't even look fazed, he looked angry beyond belief.

"You disgust me." He scowled, walking away without taking a single glance back. He was right. What the hell is wrong with me? We'd been together all but two minutes and I cheated on him. Maybe not to the fullest extent but my lips were where they shouldn't have been. I sunk down on the sand, putting my head on my knees. I began to cry, harder and harder, I'd just lost one of my closest friends. He called it. Him and Peyton both. They knew I was trouble and I just confirmed their allegations. I disgust myself too. I stood up, staring at the aggressive waves of the ocean and decided what the hell? I ran to the water swimming a good distance out. I felt so alive, the smell of life filling my nostrils. I stood up after reaching the spot I set out for , looking at the oncoming waves. And holy crap, the next one was huge. As I was about to jump, the wave came at me full throttle, knocking me down and pulling me under the water. I couldn't pull myself up. My knees scraped against the gravely sand at the bottom of the ocean and my lungs screamed for air. Just get up!!! I screamed to myself. Do you want to die?!! Get up!! Get up!!

"Summer wake up! Come on." Blake screamed, pounding on my chest and blowing air into my mouth. I sprung up, falling into a fit of coughing. Gasping for air and clutching onto Blake, thankful, unquestioning, and scared as hell.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, hugging me closely to him. He moved my wet hair out of my face, stroking my cheek with he pad of his thumb.

"You scared me half to death. What if I hadn't got to tell you how I feel about you?" He sighed, leaning his head against mine and holding my face in his hands. I was trying to calm my breathing and my nerves.

"Your........ Feelings?" I said, out of breath.

"I fucking love you Summer. I'm sorry about what I said you're the only one I want. The only good that comes out of this bad. And I know I messed up everything between you and Adam but I don't regret it. Kissing you, holding you. It made me realize that I want you. I need you." He said in one big breath, eyeing me hopefully, I leaned my head against his chest and took a deep breath.

"Then why do you always hurt me?" I questioned, on the verge of tears once again. He frowned, his eyes filled with guilt.

"Because I'm an idiot."