Nightly terrors
Flood my mind
While I lie defenseless and vulnerable,
Yet
The fear of losing you
Is no less
Frightening and painful.
Swirling in me
Is a raging hurricane
Of darkness and nothingness,
A place I cannot escape
No matter how I may try.
The pain of a blade will no longer numb me
And the oblivious
Dancing behind my eyelids
While unconscious
Has grow violent and gory
Ballerinas bleeding from their eyes
And an audience of decapitated bodies
Flood every space available.
I would rather be a tortured, yet graceful
Artist flowing across the stage
Despite her agony,
Than sit lifeless and mindless
Watching but not seeing the world moving
Before me...
If I were to lose you
I would be one of those headless,
Broken souls applauding something
They cannot see nor comprehend.
Following your heart leads to brokenness
As does ignoring it.
You are damned if you do
And damned if you don't.
Before you offered guidance,
Support,
Adoration...
Now after what may have been my fatal fall,
You see through me...
For I was supposed to catch you,
As you would have me,
Yet I got distracted by the blood dripping down
My face like tears,
The pain and blurred, red vision of it all.
And I am sorry.
H.P. J.C.
