Naki is a conceited girl, daughter of the richest couple in town. She was always full of herself and not letting others surpass her. One night, she received a chat from a stranger. The stranger that was born to change her life. But unfortunately, th...
I hate the phrase next time when it is said by my parents, because that next time is most unlikely to happen.
But do you know what I hate more? It is when Aze said that phrase, because it will never happen.
It's like I lost everything. I lost the world. I lost my beginning. I lost what I valued the most. I lost the person who valued me the most.
Aze's funeral was the saddest. There was no family grieving for him; There were no friends suffering for his loss; There were no parents crying for him. Do they even know that he's gone?
He only has me. His only shoulder and his only friend. Siguro ay ayos na sa kaniya kahit na papaano na may isang tao man lang ang umiiyak sa kaniya. Perhaps, I'm enough. Aze was a great loss, though.
Lahat ng mga nakiramay ay umalis na. My parents and the nuns left me alone with Aze here so I could talk to him through his grave.
"Wake up, lovely."
I said while smiling. I sat on the grass.
I remembered him saying that he was not able to receive an award during his time. Now, I will award him the most prestigious award in my heart because he deserves it.
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Siguro, kung nabubuhay pa siya, he'll be happy. Maybe he would say that this award is greater than any other ward. He's the most handsome in my eyes and he's the most amazing person I know. Natawa ako sa naisip ko.
I put the certificate in front of his grave and took a picture of them.
"Smile, Aze!" As I take photos, a notification from my phone popped up. I left the cellular data on.
The notification was a gmail.
From: azecares_smilemore@gmail.com
To: Me
I looked at Aze's grave.
"Ikaw, ha. Ano 'to?" I insanely said as if he was here. I opened the mail and this is what's stated.
To my miracle,
Hello, Naki! This gmail is a scheduled mail. I'm probably gone when you receive this, but it's okay. I hope you could find my presence anywhere you go because I will always be with you in your heart.
Yes, you are my miracle. Kung hindi kitanakilala, I might be lost earlier. Even without this cancer, pwede akong mamataynang maaga. Because there is overthinking, anxiety, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts lingering on my brain. You saved me. You are my hero. You are my miracle.
Ikaw ang pangalawang pumapasok sa isip ko kasunod ng suicidal thoughts.
"Paano na si Naki kung mamamatay ako ngayon?"
"Sino nang magchachat kay Naki tuwing 11 kung mawawala ako ngayon?"
"Sino nang mang-iinis kay Naki kung wala na ako?"
Just the thought of you, makes my monster tamed.
You are the pleasant melody in my world full of chaos and dissonance.
The life of an orphan is completely different from the life of a child that grew up with the supervision of his/her parent(s), although we are humans like you. We have severe trust issues, we become very insecure, extremely emotional, and very much vulnerable. It feels like everyone wants to take advantage of you because they know that no one would stand for you. All we do is to imagine a life with a parent. Especially those orphans like me who did not get the chance to get picked.
Believe me, the most pleasurable thing you could do is to make an orphan smile.
Naki, gaya ng sabi ko dati, 'wag kang matakot na kumilala ng tao. Lalo na ngayong wala na ako dahil sino na lang ang magcocomfortsa'yo? Sino na ang sasalo sa 'yo kapag down ka? Sino na ang sasabihan mo ng chika mo?
Ayaw kong matuladkasa akin, Naki. Ayaw kong mabuhaykanang miserable kayatinuturuankita. I teach you what I couldn't teach myself. Always put my words in your mind, okay?
You are shy to talk with your parents kaya ako na lang ang naging tulay sainyongtatlo. I told them that you need to talk to them. So when they gave you time, tell them all your grudges.
Look after your parents, because not everyone is lucky to have one.
Always remember: Aze cares. Wala na ako, Naki, so no one is gonna remind you to smile again. Kayangumitika na lang nangkusa, okay? You are the prettiest when you smile.
Before, I would always try hard to be happy. But when I met you, happiness comes naturally.
I know you like me, Naki. 'Wagka ring matakot na kumilala at magkagustosa isang tao nangdahil lang sa akin. Hindi ako magagalit, Naki. Dahil first of all, hindi ka naman nagingsa akin. I want you to be happy even if that happiness is not to be found in me. Hindi kitasinaktankayawalangsinuman ang pwedengmanakitsa'yo. 'Pagsinaktanka, tell me, alam mo na...
Siguro mali lang talaga tayo ng timing para sa isa't-isa. Ikaw na 'yung tamang tao, pero nasa maling panahon tayo. Maybe in another life, we would meet; I hope we will. At sa oras na magtagpo uli tayo, sana hindi na limitado ang panahon. At sana kabaliktaran ng naging buhay ko ang magiging buhay ko para malaya tayong dalawa at mas mapaparanas ko sa 'yo ang kagandahan ng mundo.
Gusto mong makita nang madalian ang kagandahan ng mundo? Tumingin ka sa salamin.😜😜😜😜😜 (add 'ko' after the mundo).
When your world feels empty, Find my presence, I'll give you my company.
