Collide with the Sky (Kellic)

1. May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep Tonight

I looked at the boxes lying on the sand. These were the memories of our time together. I met him when I was just seventeen. I was so stupid, thinking we’d be together forever. How gullible was I? I let out a small but sad laugh, trying to lighten the mood for myself. It didn’t work. I never realised just how hard this was going to be, but at least now I was doing it.

We’ve been broken up for a year now, a year today. It took me at least six months to accept that he’d left me, and only now have I accepted that he’s never coming back to me. We were together for five wonderful years. He was my world. We’d talk of one day becoming married when it was legal in our state, adopt a couple of children, getting a big house… He offered me my dreams, just to take them away. He stomped on my heart. It was so out of the blue.

We were out for dinner at my favourite restaurant. The evening was going perfectly, I thought how I could never wish for a better night. I was sure he was taking me there for good news. It was so expensive, and you’d have to book at least a month in advance to ever get a table. I was certain it’d be good news. I was having a wonderful time with him. The waitress brought us our deserts, together ordering our favourite chocolate mud cake to share. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face, yet he managed to with just a few words. I hadn’t even picked up my spoon yet to eat a piece of my delicious desert when he said the words, “I think we should break up.”

I remember being frozen in time, I couldn’t move or speak. I didn’t know what I was feeling, I didn’t know if he was being serious or not. The words kept replaying in my mind, just as they did for the year up until today. I’ll never forget the way I acted in that restaurant that day, I don’t think they’d ever let me back in for the scene I caused. Not that I ever could now, just to think about that place… I thought for a long time that maybe if I didn’t act that way and lash out on him in public, maybe we’d still be together, but I can realise now we never would last.

He said it was for my own good, to set me free. But he wasn’t holding me back, he was holding me together. He talked as if the idea of a break up had been on his mind for a long time. I couldn’t stop wondering if he’d tried to end it before. He spoke as if he were helping me, but I know now he was just doing it all for himself. He was the one who felt trapped, and really, it’d be greedy of me if I’d made him stay forever.

I’m finally coming to let go of him. He’s been haunting my past long enough. I flicked the match and threw it onto the small pile, igniting the fuel covered memories. It was finally time to say goodbye to him forever. I pulled out the last thing that was holding me back, his picture in my wallet. I stared at the old picture of Matty. I’ve had it for such a long time, I know it so well, with its rough edges and sun faded colours. I never thought I’d be ready to say goodbye, but I know I must. I tossed the picture onto the flames along with other reminders of him; his pictures, possessions, gifts, anything that reminded me of what we once shared together.

“Hey,” I heard a distressed call from someone on the beach. I thought I was alone here, being this time of night. The figure came closer and I came to recognise it to be another man, looking slightly shorter than me. “Is that safe?” he asked, panic clear in his voice. He came running closer, only to fall, smashing into the sand bellow him.

I just watched him as he got up, dusted himself off, and came over to me. As he came closer I noticed more about him; his long brown hair, tanned skin and deep brown eyes. I didn’t say a word to him, I just stared at him as he looked from me to the small fire I’d created. He looked puffed from running over here, his chest moving up and down.

“Um,” he said, slightly out of breath, turning is wrist inwards as he tried to get enough air to properly breath. “Is that safe?” he repeated his question from earlier.