Collide with the Sky (Kellic)

8. I'm Low On Gas and You Need a Jacket

The music was loud. Sound filled the room. You couldn't hear your own thoughts, only the music. The room thumped with the beat. This wasn't the kind of music I'd normally listen to, I don't think anyone would. But it perfectly fit the vibe of this place.

The lights were flashing. They flashed all different colours, constantly changing. They did so, so fast, that you couldn't register the colour of the light, by the time the next came. The room was both light and dark at once. Those flashing lights were the only light that lit that place.

The people moved. They danced as one. There were no more individuals, just a group of sweaty bodies. I'd hardly call what they were doing dancing, it was grinding. Sociable idiot or lonely genius, it didn't matter. No one cared for your story, only what was in your pants.

I took another sip of my drink, sitting on the stool I had most of the night. So many people surrounded me, yet I still felt lonely. A couple of girls tried to talk to me, but soon found I wasn't interested in them and left.

Vic doesn't know I came here tonight, he would never like the idea of it. I was, after all, drinking. I know I made a commitment to stop, and I wanted to stand by it, I have been. But I came here tonight anyway. There's no real reason why, I just wanted to get out and forget the world for a bit.

I wouldn't have been able to tell Vic I was here even if I wanted to. I haven't seen him for days. I haven't heard from him. He's gone, just when my life's changing for the better.

I still need him here.

I've stuck to my no drinking and no drugs for three weeks now. I was almost thinking I was beginning to become happy. He's been helping. I'd seen him almost every day. But that cycle stopped five days ago.

I've tried calling him, the only way I can ever find him. But no response. I'm sure he has a perfectly reasonable answer as to where he's been, but until I hear it, I won't be able to think of this calmly.

I feel like he's just left me. Shouldn't he have made contact with me by now?

It's like he's disappeared off the face of the planet.

"Hey babe," I heard the high pitched words from another blonde bimbo directed at me. She stood facing me, with her hand on my back and chest sticking out as much as she could manage. Her bright red dress was short and if you leaned down you could easily see up her dress. It was cut low, very low. And it was so tight I thought she'd pass out.

"Not interested," I sassed her, putting my hand up. I didn't care about her looks or how easy she was. I don't care for what she has to offer.

"Oh," she mumbled, immediately getting it, and unlike the others, accepted it and walked off. Some were not willing to go down without a fight. I respected that this one left.

The longer the night went on, the drunker I became. Sitting alone became slightly depressing, and I found myself moving towards the floor.

It was like a massive orgy. Everyone grinding, sweating on each other. This really isn't the type of place I'd normally go, I haven't been anywhere like this in years, but what I wanted right now was human contact.

I stood awkwardly to the side, peering in at the big group. What if no one in there's gay? What would I do? It's okay for all the straight people, assuming everyone else is like themselves, but what about me.

It was just in time to destroy my doubts, when a man came up beside me saying, "Hey I haven't seen you around here."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "This isn't a place I really go to."

"It's a bit daunting isn't it?" he said, of course directed at the group of people we were standing off the side to.

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding.