Red Lips // Nikki Sixx

5

Dumpster diving was a whole success. I've got some almost fresh bread rolls, pastries and baguettes from a Dumpster behind a bakery. I stuffed my whole pockets and even got some for the others. 
I returned, only to find that Angela's red Car was already gone. Well, more food to stuff my belly.
As I returned to my car I noticed something odd.
That's not fucking possible. I take a closer look on my car tyres
On all four tyres! Immediately the picture of only one girl pops on my mind. That fucking whore Cleopatra. My blood is boiling as I hysterically look around to find one of the other girls car.
They all already left for the next show.
"Fuck. Fuck!!!" I scream and hit one of the flat tyres.
I've got exactly 16 dollars left.
Can't even change one of them.
For a good while I was just sitting behind my wheel and cried in my hands. The car still got that sticky, sweaty Sex smell in the air. What now..?
Giving up ? Returning to Germany  or worse.. get caught by him ?  
The thought about this scares me so much that I pack my essentials. Documents, money, the America Card , the paper will all the routes and tour dates,   some clothes, make up, red Lipstick and my thinnest blanket I put over my shoulders. Let's leave. "Take care of my car. I'll get it one day." I tell my house spider, knowing exactly that it'll die. He didn't move in days anyway. He might also be dead at this point.

I walk around the streets, looking like a homeless. The cold wind hitting my legs like sharp  whips. I am just wearing think ripped black tights. 
Thank god a truck driver stops and asks me where I am heading to.
"Get in." He's a a greasy man in his mid 40s. I don't hesitate and climb the steps up to the passengers seat. The smell also hits me in the face. I've smelled alot, but this... This smells desperate, sharp and all in all not good. 
We had a bit of a conversation, but he seemed kind of shy. Started to sweat and constantly wiped it off with his hairy hand. 
He turned on the radio. Some cracky  Country music was slowly jodeling through the speakers. 

"Where is your family ?" He asks as we pull over at a gas station. He doesn't get out but slowly turns his sweaty head to me. He almost doesn't have teeth. The ones left are black and rotten.
I Immediately  get a bad feeling in my stomach. Lie, lie, lie.
"They are waiting for me." Worst lie ever. I get uncomfortable and unauspiciously  look for the way out.
"Why did they leave you in the first place?" He then asks, spitting a little bit.
I dont hesitate but take my chance before its too late to be stuck with this man. I open the door, try to jump with all my stuff, but he came first and grabbed me by my hair.
"You think you can leave without paying me little whore. I knew that you were a wild one with those red lips when I saw you."
I keep quiet, try not to make noise while he pulls me closer by my hair.
My feed dangling out of the open door.
I am not fucking here to repeat the history ! I am not here to obey! I tell myself but can't find a way to escape.
I can smell him.
His rotten mouth.
His cigarette.
Alcohol.
Sweat.
If I don't fight back he'll probably won't hold me that hard. So I take it.
I take his breath and mouth on my face. One hand in my hair, the other one grabbing my chest.
I have to throw up.
But his grip  around my hair loses and that's my chance.
I bite in his hand, he pulls it away, quickly I jump up, hit him on his nuts and jump out of the truck.
No one is around. I don't care anyway. I need to run. As far as possible.

I am just so sick and tired of this world. I am not a bad person. After everything I remain positive and healthy. Even if all those years my family dug this big hole for me, pushed me in and tried to cover me with their hate. I was there and got stuck in this negativity and hate for everything. But one day I saw that this is not leading me anywhere. My life is in my hands. It's mine to design and turn and twist. No one else's. So I climbed out of this hole and ran. Like I am  doing now. This is my life! I scream and laugh, happy that I made it out of a scary situation again. I am a good girl. 

Believe it or not. I jumped in someone elses car, again. It was a Mom with a sleeping Toddler in the back seat. She was lovely and comforting. Even gave me one of her Babies Blanket and grabbed me a coffee and some nice sandwich to eat. "Can't let someone elses Baby walk around in the cold like this. I wish you all the best and luck of the world. May we meet again." She even gave me her leftover change. I felt all warm and comforted from her. Like I was in love...I wanted this and nothing else. A family I could call home. 

It was already late and dark but so many stones fell off my heart when I spotted Angelas Red Car. They are here.. I am safe. I pushed all my belongings under her car, put on some fresh make up und went inside. "Where have you been?" Chris, the security man asked. I tell him the story of .. I guess Cleopatra demolished my car wheels.  "I am really sorry for what happened yesterday with the other securities. If I would've noticed then it wouldn't happen. But yes.. go in and get something to eat. You don't look good."  I thank him. It feels good to be back. 

"I can't believe that she did that!" Lilly and Angela look at me in disbelief and hug me too. I don't know what to about her. If I don't stop her then she'll constantly try to put stones in my way. But I don't know yet. "We'll think about something. And maybe we'll encounter something and act in the moment."  Angela suggests, she's high as a kite right on Heroin now. "Yes I guess that's the best decision for now."  I wanted to leave them to look for Nikki on stage but Lilly grabbed me by my arm. "Are you gonna look for Nikki?" She asks and I nod. "He isn't feeling well today. Didn't play today and is laying in their bus." "Oh okay.. I'll still go check on him." 

I knocked multiple times on their bus but no one opened, so I just entered. He was sleeping in one of the sleeping cabins, covered in like 3 blankets. He could be my home... I know he needs one too. I just watched him breathing for a while before I dared to slowly run my fingers over his face. He feels really warm. 

So I grab a wet towel dunk it cold water and place it on his forehead. I need to start taking care of people I would like to stay in my life. "The fuck are you doing?" He groans, didn't even open his eyes. "Shhh.. it's okay. It's just me Cherry. Trust me, okay?" I continue pressing the cold towel on his forehead. "Where have you been? I waited for you and you didnt came at all." His eyes are still closed, he doesn't seem good at all.  "I'll explain it to you later. But I've heard that you're  not well. How and what do you feel."  He said that he's feeling really cold and weak. Typical fever syndroms. Should be better tomorrow morning. "Okay.. I'll take care of you and if you need anything I'll be right here if you want that." 

"I want you to stay here with me."