Not forbidden, just hard | Regulus Black

Chapter 28: Sirius's after Christmas visit

this chapter is a lot especially if you are already feeling sad, be kind to yourself and read it when you're ready

CW: panic attack, mentions of the Cruciatus curse

Everything was a blur. A blur of people rushing around her. A blur of thought. A blur of emotion.

Sirius appeared in the fireplace after a flash.

"Oh my God." Mary said.
He was covered in soot and little cuts. Everly was coming back from the kitchen with a pot of hot tea in her hand when she walked in on everyone crowding around him, James holding him up so he wouldn't fall. "I didn't know where else to go." She heard Sirius say.

Her mother was talking in hushed whispers but she heard it loud and clear. "This is the work of the Cruciatus."

Everyone stopped.

Everly dropped the pot of hot tea on the tile. It dropped with a loud crash, bits of broken porcelain and puddles of tea spread throughout the floor around her feet.

Everyone looked at her.

"Where is he?" Everly stepped over the broken pieces and rushed towards the group. "Where is Regulus?" She shouted.
"Everly you can't-" James started but she didn't let him finish.
"No James! Don't tell me what I can and can't do, where is he?!"
"I-I," Sirius's knees went weak.

"He needs to lie down." Euphemia said. "Let's carry him upstairs James."
"No!" Tears were streaming down her face. "He has to tell me where Regulus is!" She started up after them but the girls stopped her.

"He can't think right now babe." Lily was saying.
"He needs to rest, he's in a lot of pain." Dorcus rubbed Everlys back.
"Bu-but-" She couldn't breath, she couldn't think.
Paisley was holding her wrist, "Her heart is racing." She said feeling her pulse. "And she's shaking too."
"I-I'm fine." Everly said, pushing them off of her. "I need to go get Regulus."

"What? Are you crazy?" Marlene beat her to the door and blocked it. "No fucking way are you going to that house."
"Move Marlene."
"No absolutely not. You aren't thinking Everly."

"I am thinking!" Her shaking was getting worse but she didn't care. "I am thinking Marlene! You know what I'm thinking about? Regulus alone in that house with his parents who just Crucified their other son! He can not stay there." She was pacing around the living room. "He can't. He can't stay there with them. Alone. He's all alone. He's all alone. No Sirius. No heir." She was pacing with her hands on her head now.

"Can we sedate her?" Marlene asked. "She's going to lose it."
"I Think she's having a panic attack." Lily said.

Everly was still pacing and talking to herself. "He can't stay there. No one there to help him. Owls. Maybe we can owl him. Letters, yeah letters. Oh Remus! We have to tell Remus Sirius is here now and Peter!" Everly stopped pacing and walked over the broken porcelain once more to the kitchen counter. She pulled out parchment from her school bag that was sitting on a chair and a quill.

Tears were still streaming down her face and her hands were still shaking. She started scribbling on the parchment a letter to Remus. It was practically illegible with tears dripping and making the ink run as well as her handwriting matching that of a toddler who just learned how to write.

"We can't let her send that." Dorcas said. They were all standing around her watching her tears drip on the letter smearing more and more words.

"Everly sweetheart why don't we take a break." Paisley tried to take the quill from her but she wouldn't let it go. "Everly stop. We will write the letter to Remus. Let's just go take a breath okay?" Paisley was able to take the quill from her and put it down on the counter, she started walking Everly to the couch.

"We- we need to tell him. He needs to know. A-and we have to go get Regulus. We need to ask Sirius if he's st-still at the house. I-I can't breath." She fell to the floor on her hands and knees, sobbing. "I-I can't breath. I can't protect him in that ho-house. What am I supposed to do?"

The girls looked at each other. She was right. There really wasn't anything they could do.
Euphimea came down the stairs, James trailing behind her.

"Oh Everly." She rushed over when she saw the state of her daughter on the floor.
"I think she's having a panic attack." Lily spoke.
"We stopped her from trying to go to the Black manor." Marlene said after.
"And write a letter to Remus." Paisley pointed at the counter, the letter and ink still sitting there.
"Oh Remus." James put his hands on his head, he had been crying too.

"Go James. Go write to him." Mrs. Potter said, lifting her head off Everlys. "He needs to know."
Everly had stopped crying at this point, but her breath and shaking hadn't calmed down.

"How is Sirius doing?" Mary asked.
"He is trying to get some sleep in the guest room next to James bedroom right now, I doubt he'll sleep at all though." Euphemia said. She was still holding Everly and stroking her back slowly.
"He is fine my love." She said now to just Everly. "He is the new Black heir; they won't hurt him, Evie."
"But what if they make him join you know who?" She finally lifted her head up.
"Oh my god." Paisley gasped.
"Can't we just-" Everly took a shaky breath in, "Can we just go get him? Please."
"I'm so sorry my love. It's just not safe." Mrs. Potter tucked a piece of hair behind Everlys ear.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" She scooped Everly up off the floor. "Girls?" She looked at the group behind her. "I have some things to take care of, can you take her upstairs?"
"Of course." Marlene said as they all walked forward to her. James walked back from the kitchen as they started walking upstairs.

"I'm going to make sure Sirius is sleeping." Mary said. All of the girls looked at her sympathetically. He was her boyfriend after all and she hadn't said much since he arrived.

"Everly wait." The girls turned around to look at him. He walked to meet them and embraced Everly tightly. "He's going to be fine. I wrote to him as well, discreetly of course and I used your owl because they know your owl there." He hugged her tighter and then whispered, "And if we need to, we'll go get him don't worry."

"Ok Jamie."
"Go get some sleep, all of you guys should get some sleep." He said.
"I doubt Mary is going to get any sleep." Dorcus said.
"I'll take over for her if she isn't sleeping." James said. "Go sleep."

The girls walked the rest of the way up the stairs, James following them and then going into the room Sirius was in.

"Is it just me or is James actually being nice?" Lily whispered.
"He is always like that." Paisley said.
"You just can't get over your grudge against him." Marlene said.
"He never stops pranking absolutely everyone and he is especially mean to Severus." Lily scoffed. "It's not a grudge, it is a justified hatred."

"Lily, respectfully, Snape is not a good person at all. You are the only one who can't see that." Everly spoke up. "And besides, my brother is hopelessly in love with you that's why you are never the target of his pranks, just everyone else."

"Severus is a good person, he just hangs around with bad people because of his house-"
"We are not arguing about this right now." Everly stopped her. She tucked a piece of hair behind Lily's ear, "I hope that when you realize who Snape really is, it's not because he hurt you."
"He won't hurt her." Dorcus said. "He's in love with her too."

"What?"
"Anyway."

It was 2am by the time the girls went to sleep. Marlene was out and snoring within seconds and Dorcus ended up cuddling close to her after a little while. Paisley snapped a picture of the two before rolling over and checking on Everly who was wide awake and staring at her stars on the ceiling.

"You can't help him by not sleeping." She said.
"I can't sleep."
"Can you try?" She whispered.
"Everytime I close my eyes I see him in that house. His mom is standing over him, he's on his knees in front of her."
"Oh sweetheart." Paisley hugged her tight. She didn't let go even when she fell asleep.

Everly didn't sleep at all.