ikigai; bnha

03

"'Never apologize for how you feel.
No one can control how they feel.
The sun doesn't apologize for being bright
and the rain doesn't say sorry for falling.
Feelings just are."
- unknown

"I made your favorite today! Are you ready for your big exam?"

Sadako walked into the kitchen and stared at her smiling mom. It's been almost a year since everything happened, but it feels like it was yesterday. Everything has been going smoothly, as if her friend didn't die.

"Don't get too excited, mom. I might not even get in." Lena stared at her daughters face. The young brunette took after her father in every aspect. Except, she wasn't as good as lying. Better than most but not better than the master.

"You'll do fine. Be confident. The hero course would love to have you!" Sadako stared at the plate in front of her, filled with eggs and toast. She's never liked toast.

"The general course. I'm not cut out to be a hero. That's too much work." Lena's smile faltered. She didn't really know what to say to Sadako. When Lena was younger she never had a mom to look out for her, death and crimes surrounded her.

Moving to America as a kid, and her parents not being able to properly care for her, she had to grow up fast. Lena didn't have the time to be a kid, and now as a parent, she struggled being emotionally there for her kids. This mom thing was supposed to come naturally. When they were younger it did, but now? It seemed like she had no clue what to do.

She watched as Sadako ate, waiting for her to say something, but she never did. Sadako never told her anything, never talked about her feelings, never told her what was going on at school. Sadako never even told her if she had a crush. Lena was her mom but it felt like they were strangers.

"I have to go finish getting ready. I'll see you when I get home." Sadako stood up from her chair and smiled at her mom. The brunette was thankful for her mom, there was no doubt. Sometimes though, she wished her mom paid a little more attention.

Heading to the room, Sadako's head was empty, the only thing she could focus on was the nervousness eating away at her.

No matter how much she could say she didn't care about getting into UA or not, she did. It'd be pretty embarrassing to aim for something and completely miss, even if not getting into UA was guaranteed for most of the student population. 

No one knew that she was trying to get into U.A., it was a last minute decision that somehow she was going through with.

Akihito didn't even know, but it's not like they told each other much. Not anymore, at least.

They still hung out at school and still walked with each other, but things changed. Takashi moved to America, his parents thought it would be better to forget this place. He seemed to agree because no one knew he moved until he stopped showing up to class.

Life got completely knocked off it's course and it somehow turned out alright. Sadako was going to try joining the top school in Japan, Takashi was going to pursue his athletics in America, Akihito was applying for a hero course at another top school.

Everyone moved on.

Sadako quickly changed, and headed to the door, wanting to leave as soon as possible. The exams didn't start for another three hours but she couldn't take the anxiety eating away at her.