ikigai; bnha

04

"If you expect the world to be fair with you
because you are fair,
you're  fooling yourself."

- unknown

Sadako exited the building, watching as kids walked by. Some smiling, others calm, and most on the brink of crying.

The exam had to be one of the hardest test she ever took. Maybe it would've been easier if she'd studied, but she didn't think she'd get in anyway so there was no point. On her way out, there was a sense of relief and anxiousness.

Relief because it was finally over and at least she can say she took it.

Anxiousness because she knows she could've done better, could be better. She was anxious because she'll begin to regret not trying in the first place.

But, It was easier to say that she failed because she didn't try, then to try her hardest and it not matter.

There was a time where school was everything and always improving was what she strived for. But, that was a long time ago. Back when she was younger, back when she still believed in fairy tales.

Walking down some steps, Sadako watches as more kids come out from the building. They looked worst than the kids before. 'Must be from the hero course exam.' She turned, continuing on her way.

The brunette looked at the ground, preparing to walk back home. Walking home, gave her more time to think, to be alone, but it's not like she had a choice.

It was both a blessing and a curse. It gave her time to mull over her emotions so she wouldn't explode, but it always made her realize that this world wasn't made for her.

It wasn't made for anyone.

"Excuse me. Y-you dropped this." Turning around quickly, Sadako's eyes widened a bit. She almost shit her pants, the boy in front of her came up so quietly, she didn't even know he was there.

The boy in front of her looked ragged and absolutely horrible. His green hair was unruly and he was trying so hard to force a decent smile. He was struggling.

She took the crumpled up piece of paper from his hand. It was a sheet that the students got about where to go and when to be there. It wasn't anything important and she honestly didn't even know she dropped it.

"Thank you." Sadako smiled and bowed a little bit before turning away. She probably should have asked him if he was okay or if he needed help, but it wasn't any of her business.

People always talk about morals and how if they see someone in need they would immediately help them, but that was all utter bullshit. Only a few actually gave a shit about other people, and that greenette seemed to be one of them.

She could have just started crying and gave him one of her "heal all" tears but that would make everything ten times worse. Especially, when showing her tears would cause more problems than she needed.

Her tears had healing properties in them, and glowed a bright blue. If her dad hadn't drilled into her head that people would be after her if she showed them, than she probably would have been more willing. However, no one was as nice as they seemed, and even if that boy was actually a good person, she wouldn't take that chance.

Not anymore.

"Sadako." A five-year-old girl stares at her dad through a plastic window. Shifting uncomfortably, the girl holds a telephone to her ear, allowing her to hear the man across from her. He was wearing bright orange clothes, trying to play the perfect dad he wanted to be.

Enzo Castillo was born in America. Born to Mexican immigrants, with an absentee father, Enzo's life was hard. Being the youngest of 7, his mother doted on him, tried to keep him on the right track. However, a mother's influence can only help a child so much.  Especially, when other influences were much more tempting.

Surrounded by trouble and wishing for more, A kid's natural instinct is to always want more than what they have. Of course kids like Enzo didn't have the opportunity to buy that new race car or the action figure he saw on a stores shelf. Always wanting and never having, Enzo realized that the only way for him to gain anything, he needed to get money, quick.

When you live in a place where people have to resort to becoming criminals in order to survive, a pressure sits on your shoulders to conform. He felt that pressure and he gave in.

The pressure turned into an overwhelming comfort, money was coming in like never before, he was getting things he used to only dream about.

It felt good not having to worry. So, Enzo continued. Selling drugs brought money and money brought girls, enemies, and danger.

Enzo wasn't a good guy, but he was the best father a five year old girl could ask for. So, sitting across from her favorite person in the world, Sadako didn't really understand what was happening. She could feel the shift though. Everything was falling apart.

And somewhere inside her heart, there was a crack.

Before she knew it, Sadako only talked to her dad through a phone, and only saw him once every several months. She got older and understood why she no longer saw her dad.

By age 10, Sadako and her brother had been to six different schools. Their mom not being able to afford a place long enough for them to stay in it.

Tired of not being able to provide a good enough life for her kids, Lena got up and moved them to Japan. They definitely still struggled, but it was definitely a little bit better than America. With help from Lena's sister who still lived in Japan, things ran smoothly. Lena also thanked god everyday that she made sure her kids knew Japanese, which made the transition a hundred times easier.

So at 15, walking home from taking the exam of the top school in Japan, Sadako couldn't help but be unhappy. Life was supposed to be better in Japan, but even if they didn't move from America, she knew nothing would change.

The sun was setting and Sadako was still a ways away from home. She kind of regrets walking but at least she could stop somewheres if she wanted too. Surrounded by buildings, and passing by restaurants, her stomach began to rumble.

She slowed down a bit, trying to remember if she had any money. She didn't have an allowance, so the only way for her to be able to make some was to find obscure jobs around her apartment complex. There was plenty of single parents and elderly around her that needed help.

Even if they didn't really have too much money to spare, a lot of people needed a babysitter or someone to help do chores. Yeah sometimes she did help without getting paid, but she couldn't do everything for free. Especially, when as a 15 year old girl she needed money for certain necessities.

U.A. had an entrance fee which she had to pay for and considering it was the best hero school in Japan, if she got in, she hoped she had to pay next to nothing.

Realizing she should have enough for a drink and a snack, Sadako walked towards a convenient store. Her stomach felt like it was eating itself and she couldn't wait to satiate the beast.

But alas, not everything goes as planned.

...