ikigai; bnha

05

"Looking for meaning or logic in death
can at times defile the memories
of those we've lost."

- Gege Akutami

Heading towards the refrigerator section, Sadako could taste the store sushi on the tip of her tongue.

Store bought sushi definitely wasn't anything amazing. However it provided a comfort that you couldn't get at most places. Or maybe it being super cheap was the reason she liked it.

Looking around she grabbed an onigiri and sushi before heading to get a drink.

The store was average size, so no matter what you were bound to run into someone. Usually it was the everyday passerby but it wasn't today. Turning the corner, Sadako's content face fell at the sight of a boy grabbing a drink.

With dark brown hair and dark tan skin, normally he would've been someone she walked past without looking twice. However, it was the bright blue eyes that were an exact replica to her dead friends' that made her stop in her tracks.

Immediately turning around, she threw the food in her hands to the shelf closest to her before trying to leave.

"Nakamura?" Fist clenched and head downturned, she slightly rotated towards the boy. There was definitely someone up in the clouds who hated her. Did she destroy a village in her past life?

Nodding her head in acknowledgment, she stared at him. Never once straying from the blue eyes that she didn't think she'd see again. If he dyed his hair blonde like his sister, everyone would probably think they were twins, except Hasegawa Akira was a year older.

Nakumura Sadako was a plain girl. She wasn't someone you'd noticed at first glance even if you were friends with her. Maybe she did it on purpose, she always seemed to blend in.

But when it came to the tall blue eyed boy, it took him only a couple seconds to know it was her. With the countless times he used to think about her, Sadako's image was practically engraved in his mind. Which is why he noticed the changes.

Her hair was shorter. The girl's face slightly lost her baby fat and her eyes were different. In the past, one look at Sadako's eyes and you could tell what she was thinking. But now, looking into them, Akira saw nothing.

Smiling, Akira was happy to see an old friend. Anita and her friends used to hang out so much, Akira became somewhat friends with them too. However, it was a group of four and there was no more room for a fifth.

Sadako was having a mental breakdown. She didn't know why she agreed to sit at a table with him, but she did.

Akira, like his sister, wasn't quiet nor was he afraid to ask questions no matter how intrusive they were. The both of them brought indescribable joy to those they met, but sitting across from him, Sadako felt anything but happy.

She felt distraught. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be reminded of her dead friend. She didn't want this.

"I have to go. I just finished my entrance exams and my mom is calling me." Getting up faster than he could process, Sadako grabbed her things before running out of there.

Running from your problems was bad yes, but it was easy.

...

Within a week, Sadako manged to check the mailbox a total of 50 times. About seven times a day she made sure to check if the letter came in, until finally it did.

She tried to play it off, like it didn't matter if she got in, but deep down she knew it did.

After the meeting with Anita's brother, Sadako stayed far away from that convenience store. Even going as far as taking a different route home from school.

It wasn't that she was scared of what he would say, well, actually it was.

She was terrified of the conversations bound to come up. The death of Anita was something she liked to keep bottled up. Even if the lid loosened every once in a while.

Everyone that knew what happened always said something along the lines of "it was her time" or "she's in a better place now." As if that would make Sadako feel any better.

Because Anita was 14 years old. It wasn't her time, she hadn't even experienced life yet. Anita didn't get to worry about if she passed her high school exams, she didn't get to experience love, she didn't even get to meet her favorite hero.

Hasegawa Anita wasn't meant to be dead nor was the idea of her being in a better place going to make Sadako feel any better.

Anita wasn't supposed to be in heaven or whatever the fuck happens after death. Anita was supposed to be next to her, holding her hand as they opened their letters to U.A.

Next to the word "congratulations," bright blue tear drops stained the page.

....