In Die Nacht

7

Why won't Bill talk to me? I hadn't meant to offend him. I just wanted to know. He made glaring stares at me whenever he had to address me and he even kept Adam away. Something happened between them. Dad decided go watch rehearsal today and that whole idea didn't sit well with me. He was watching Bill like he was a target or something. I just wanted Bill to talk to me. He's my little brother and I'd rather die first before losing him. Dad was about to approach him when I decided to just talk to him.

He saw why I pulled him to the side suddenly but didn't really respond. He simply stood in front of me with his hands jammed into his pocket and a menacing scowl painted on his face. I didn't really understand why Bill was so angry. Was it me or dad? He blocked me out and I couldn't hear his thoughts. Dad finally walked away and I took a breath of relief. Bill was going to walk away when I pulled him back. I needed to talk to my brother. This deep silence between us was enough to kill me.

"Bill, talk to me, please just say anything."

He rolled his eyes and shoved me away. I angered my little brother to this point where my melancholy didn't matter. He was only thinking of his selfish anger. This could cause a rift in the band and our fame is too premature for this. We didn't officially become anything until 2005 and it's 2007. Our eighteenth birthday is drawing close and I want to enjoy it. But I know my brother. He doesn't tell people right there when he's pissed. He's going to blow up on me.

"Tom, look, you had no right to interrogate me last night. To full on ask me if I'm gay when I don't even know myself was unforgivable. I said that to you and yet you ignored me. How can I talk to you when you refuse to listen?"

I had to agree with Bill at this point. I did ignore him. He didn't deserve that. He just needed me to love him. I prejudged him before hearing his piece. But I was worried for him. I know how hard he falls in love. He's been hurt before and I'm not standing by while it happens again. He knows that I'm always going to be there no matter what.

"You're right and I'm sorry. Just talk to me."

"Can I?"

"Yes, you can."

"I'm just frustrated. I've...kissed Adam three times now and each time I've initiated it. I don't know what's happening to me. It doesn't help that I feel like dad's out to get me. He caught me with him and he wasn't very happy."

"Bill, look, mom is working to get dad off this tour. Don't worry about him."

"How can I not worry?! Tom, he watches me like a hawk. And sometime he looks at me with this strange grin on his face. He's up to something."

"Guys, we need you on stage for lighting arrangement."

"Coming, Tobias." I responded. "Bill, I'll talk to mom, David and Gordon and we'll work something out."

"I'm scared, Tomi." Bill whimpered.

"Don't be. Jörg won't lay a damn hand on you."

During rehearsals, I made Saki watch dad with an eagle eye. Bill messed up once and tripped while walking the catwalk. But he was alright after. We rehearsed for three more hours and decided to take a break and grab food before our show. Georg was on the phone with his girlfriend and Gustav was being distant as usual. Mom called me out to the stage area to assist the crew. That left Bill to pick at his food alone.

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The teen put his plastic fork back into the container of pasta and glanced in Jörg's direction. The older man was sitting on the lounge with his hands hidden in his pants. Bill wiped his mouth and got up. Adam watched him walk into the bathroom and close the door.