In Die Nacht

12

Tom woke up to the sounds of Bill screaming his heart out. He raced from his bed and charged into the room. Adam was already there and holding the crying teen. Again his twin felt useless. He crossed his arms across his chest and held back tears. He still felt like Adam was taking his place.

"What happened?" Tom asked.

"He had a nightmare. I had to make sure he was okay."

"That's my job." He mumbled.

His heart felt heavy as he watched someone else hold his baby brother, someone else cooed him. He wanted to pull them apart but he knew that Bill was in no shape to argue with him. His twin thought the nightmare was over but it turns out it wasn't. Bill will probably be plagued by those nightmares for a while. He grasped the waistband of his pants and turned to leave.

"Tomi, wait." Bill whined. "Stay with me, please."

It didn't take much to make him take his brother in his arms. He held the trembling teen in his arms and didn't let go for a minute. He noticed his pulse was quick and he was sweating excessively. He brushed back his hair and looked down at his face. He was slipping in and out of awareness.

"Adam, can you whip up a quick meal? Bill needs food."

"Sure."

Bill clinged to his brother for life but his nightmare played everytime he closed his eyes. He wanted so badly to just stop the noise. He wanted to stop the pain. Tom was his anchor right now. His twin was keeping him sane. The twins pulled strength from each other more or less Bill took more seeing as he was easily broken. The fans didn't know how weak their idol's confidence was. He smiled and fearless wore whatever but he didn't handle criticism or judgement very well. He was used to pain but the comments that others made, the hurtful statements and the harsh looks made him reconsider a lot of decisions.

Tom knew just how unstable his twin was because he had seen it before. When Bill was in school and he had a grand mal seizure in front of everyone, Bill didn't pick up his head. He would cling to Tom and hide behind him. He would try and will the bullies to go away but that never worked. The term spaz was flung around and everyone soon gave him the moniker. That tore him through and he just couldn't function. That was the first time he ever cut. Everyday after school, he'd hide away with his razor and mutilate his wrists. Tom caught him once and he swore to never again do it. He felt like literal shit because he was cutting again.

Bill panicked when Tom rubbed his arms. He knew that his twin would notice something. He shoved him away and hugged his body. He hid his face in his knees and sobbed. Tom crawled to his brother and placed a arm around his shoulders. Bill cried even harder feeling he had failed his brother. He was losing all control of his emotions not expecting for Tom to be this caring. He gripped his pajama pants and let out a deep sob.

"Bill, it's okay. You'll be alright."

"No I won't."

"Yeah you will. You're strong."

Bill looked at his twin in disbelief. He wiped away tears and looked away from his brother. Tom scooted around until he was facing his brother directly. He took his arms and took a deep breath. They had gone down this road before and he wanted to prepare himself. Bill simply glanced in that direction and went back to looking away. He couldn't fight anymore. He lost his will.

Tom turned his arms over and saw the cuts on his arms. He didn't get angry like Bill expected, only sad. He started to cry and Bill was absolutely confused. Here, before his very eyes, was the strong brother this never batted an eyelash. He never cried. Bill stared intently at his brother and tears rolled down his cheeks.