She Had The World [ Lgbtq+ ]

I'm not afraid of you, asshole.

Eden's POV

I found myself staring at the torn wallpaper in my room. A once so beautiful and colourful wallpaper was now ripped and torn. I dug my fingers harder into my teddy bears soft fur. My nails dug into the stuffing. My eyes hardly fixated on it. Stains was all over the wall, what all those stains were, I didn't know. I'd rather not know to be honest. I loosened my firm grip on teddy and let him fall to the floor with a dull and silent thud. My naked feet were touching the cold wooden floor as I stood up from my bed and walked over to my desk. The temperature in our house was well under average, but I had a big hoodie on so that wasn't really a problem, and after all, I was just used to it by now. I've spent 16 years in this rathole of a house, the temperature was the least of my worries. I stared at the small piece of paper laying on the empty wooden desk.

"Darling?" I heard my mom's raspy voice call me from her room. "Get your ass over here and give me lunch" she shouted.

"Coming!" I shouted as I quickly took the note from my desk and walked towards my mom's room. The hallway was long and dark, and with every step I took the floor made a squeaky noise. Almost as if it cried and begged to not be in this rathole of a house. I mean, this house won't last any longer anyways. It is basically falling apart right in this moment. I quickened my steps and when I came to my mom's room I just stood there. Silently looking at the big hole in the wall that my dad had caused when he was drunk, or on drugs, or both, I honestly don't know. Everything from the time when dad lived in this house had just melted together into a big mess in my head. All the screams, punches and cries I everyday try so hard to forget about. I gathered myself and opened the door into my mom's room.

"What do you want? Bread? Soup?" I asked as I peeked my head into her room. She laid in her bed, under the sheets. The room smelled like smoke and shit, well more like a mom that haven't showered in the last 3 months and smokes way too many cigarettes a day. It was sad, to see her like this. So fucked up, so sick. Mom had been sick for the past 2 years. We don't know what it is, but we can't go to the doctor. Hell, we barely even have enough money for food anymore!

"I want a fucking package of cigarettes" she glared at me. I sighed and went over to the desk. And as I held the nicotine sticks that was killing my mom more and more every day in my hand, I considered throwing them in the trash. I glanced at the trash can beside her desk, full of napkins.

"Give me them, please honey" she smiled at me and reached her hand out. I sighed deeply and handed over death into her weak hands. "Thank you darling." She lit it at took and her hands trembled as she lifted the cigarette to her lips. She took a deep drag from the death stick and breathed out heavily, shutting her eyes. I asked once again what she wants for lunch but the only answer I got was a low and raspy "doesn't matter" as she stared at the torn wallpaper in front of her. The same way I had done just some moments ago. I guess that was just a normal thing to do when you live in a rathole like this. To stare at the walls and consider how you ended up like this.

Some minutes later I came back with a tray with some bread and old soup. Of course, I cut off the parts of the bread that had become moldy. She thanked me and I smiled vaguely at her, of course it was a fake smile. Real smiles only occur when you feel real happiness. When I was done taking care of my mom, giving her the medication and all, I went to the place knew the best in the whole world. My corner of the world.

As I walked into the forest, I noticed that most of the leaves had fallen to the ground, unlike the last time I came here, where the fire coloured leaves were still flourishing on the branches. But it was something surely beautiful about autumn, where nature prepares for winter and the long awaited, well deserved rest it will soon receive. Only to flourish again next spring. It's the cycle of life, death and growth. I liked it like that, it was simple. Unlike human life, it was everything but simple. It was so messed up, well at least my life was. That's why I like to come here. To forget about everything and just enjoy simplicity. I always came here as a child, playing with my imaginary friends, sticks and stones. Since I didn't really have any other friends. But I enjoyed it like that, because with real friends comes things that aren't simple, like fights and real emotion. You must try your hardest to maintain that friendship, and that wasn't at all simple.