She Had The World [ Lgbtq+ ]

I'm drowning, wish i was dying.

Willow's POV

TW's: Mild description of rape
            Throwing up

I sat quietly in the corner of the dark window-free room, hearing my mom's quiet sobs from the other side of the room. I stared into the nothingness in front of me, my head hurting like hell and millions of thoughts rushing through my head.

I felt dirty, I could still feel his hands on my skin. I wanted to punch something, him, a wall, anything. Fuck this shit. My mom cried louder now, but I could hear that she tried to fight the tears. Unlike my mom, I didn't have to fight tears, I had to fight the building urge inside of me to scream my lungs out and punch the wall until my hands started bleeding. I wanted to scream and destroy everything around me. But I didn't do that, I just sat quietly staring into nothing. I tried to grip the wooden floor underneath me, I wanted something to hold onto. But I just ended up making scratches on the floor.

The darkness surrounding me came closer and my eyes started to blur. It came back to me like flashes in front of my eyes, my mom screaming from the other room, how he touched her, the fear in my mom's eyes and the hunger in his. How he threw her away when he was done with her. Like she wasn't even human. How he said, "Just like the old days", looking at my mom with an evil smirk. The fear in her eyes and how she laid on the bed so helpless. Crying and chipping for breath.

How he came closer to me, looked at me with the devil's eyes. I started to cold-sweat as the images came back to me. I felt like throwing up. They surrounded me, everything was gone now. My mom's crying was gone, the darkness was gone. The only thing I could see was how he touched me, how he looked at me. How he took of my clothes, so my body was in full exposure for him. I felt ill and I started breathing heavier. I saw how he turned away when he heard something downstairs. Those words that haunt me.

"I'll finish you later puppy", then he smirked and closed the door. That evil smile was still burnt into my vision.

I knew he was going to come back, sooner or later. I knew what he was going to do to me. He was going to do the same thing as he did to my mom. My head started spinning and my breathing became faster. I felt something in my stomach, and it was coming up. I threw up on the floor, couching blood. The taste of blood and puke burning in my mouth. The whole room started filling up with the horrible smell of puke. I shut my eyes and threw my head with full force against the wall behind me. It hurt, a lot. It felt like i broke my skull, and the extreme pain spread all over my head. But it felt good. So good I did it again, and again. For every hit on the wall it felt like 1000 knives was being stabbed in the back of my head. Yet, i still continued doing it until the back of my head became numb. Comfortably numb. I started to become aware of my surroundings again. I saw the darkness again and I heard my mom's quiet sobbing again.

A while later I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. My heart started beating faster and I looked towards my mom. She sat on the bed and I could see that she looked at me too. Us both having dreadful fear in our eyes. She gestured for me to come to her, but I didn't. I stayed on the floor in the cold corner. Accepting my faith. "Willow", she whispered with shaky voice. Looking at me with sad eyes. "It's okay mom...", I whispered back. It wasn't okay though, it was everything but okay. I heard the footsteps outside, they were light. Like he tried to not make a sound as he walked outside. I was breathing heavy, in that moment i just wanted to die. I heard a quiet bump outside. And then footsteps coming towards the door. My mom started crying louder, but still quiet. I became heavy, I felt like the floor was dragging me down into a void of nothingness. The room around me started moving like the sea on a stormy night. I was the boat, who happened to loosen from the bay. Now alone in the middle of the stormy sea. The rain pouring from the dark cloudy sky. The waves crashing onto the weak wooden boat. It started to fill with water from the heavy rain and big waves. I was drowning. I tried to take a breath, but cold water flooded into my lungs.

I shut my dry eyes and held my legs close to my chest when I heard the door handle being pressed down slowly. The squeaky noise from the door opening. My heart was beating fast, I hugged my legs tighter onto my chest and dug my fingernails hard into my skin.

Then, I heard a silent gasp, then silence. I opened my eyes slowly and I saw a familiar face standing in the doorway. Her sapphire blue hair shone bright in the darkness. I breathed in sharply and my eyes widened to the size of the fucking moon. She looked at us in shock, she was shaking, and so was I. I opened my mouth, trying to say something. But no words came out of my mouth. Suddenly, she came back to reality and ran towards us.

"Oh god, are you guys okay?" She had tears in her eyes when she crouched up beside me, taking her hand over my back and helping me to stand up. I couldn't talk, I tried to answer her, but the words didn't come out of my mouth. I was breathing heavy, I was in such relief but shock at the same time. How was she here? Where is that man? Who is that man? Eden walked with me over to my mom, she looked with big teary eyes at Eden.

"Hey it's okay", she whispered. "I'm here now, he won't hurt you". She laid her arm on my mom's shoulder, comforting her. And it was like that tiny gesture broke my mom, her eyes started pouring and she chipped for air between the tears. She buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry", she sobbed. "If I hadn't been w- ", she was interrupted by Eden taking her hand in hers. My mom looked up at Eden with bloodshot watery eyes. I stared at them, still getting support from Eden's shoulder.

"We need to get out of here", Eden said with a shaky voice. She helped my mom stand up and gestured for us to follow her. She took a few silent steps out into the dark hallway, holding her hand on the door frame. I stared at her sapphire blue hair from behind, just like I had done the day before. I could never have imagined that I would stand here with her and my mom in a man's house. Who basically kidnapped us, and abused us. I said no. I started to shake. I said NO. BUT HE DID IT ANYWAYS, HE HURT ME. HE HURT MY MOM. The urge to scream and punch something came back. My head started spinning again, and I saw the world getting blurry once again.

Eden disappeared, my mom disappeared, I disappeared. Everything went dark. Darker than it already were.