Fall in Love

Part 11

"So now it comes to the part where everything takes a turn.
He went missing. Especially when he was on trips, my dad sent me pictures of where he was multiple times a day, but it stopped. I suddenly didn't receive a single message anymore, he didn't answer my calls, nor replied to any message for five weeks straight. I reported him as missed, people were looking for him but didn't even find a single hint. Until one day in December. I received a call, they... found his dead body in a river."

My world crashed.
I didn't want to believe that this has happened to her. Now I felt guilty for not being there for her when her own father died. I wanted to apologize more than I was able to.
May's eyes slowly went wet until she busted out in tears.

She stopped walking, her hands covered her mouth. It was the most painful thing to ever see. Her legs got shaky, and she was about to fall onto her knees, but I still got to catch her in time.

I grabbed May under her arms, trying to hold her. She was sobbing, her face pressed into my chest. My arms closed around her back, I stroked her hair while hugging her tightly. We stayed in this position for about two minutes, meanwhile she calmed down and wasn't holding onto me as hard anymore, but my eyes filled with tears.
I somehow managed not to cry, May needed me now so I shouldn't be useless.
"Are you okay?", I asked. I felt her nodding her head, so I let go from the hug and stared into her beautiful eyes while still having my hands on her arms.
She looked at me with a painful but thankful glance. I asked her if we should sit down and May agreed.

She was pretty close to me now, our shoulders were almost touching. "I, uhm... didn't explain everything yet. I think..." "You don't have to explain anything to me. I don't think that it's fair to still be mad at you now!", I interrupted her. "But I want to!", May said, so I kept quiet and turned my head sideways to symbolize my attention.
"So, my mental health turned really bad. I was already in a bad mental state when my dad went missing, but when I found out that he... died, my complete life got destroyed. I thought that I needed to focus on myself. I didn't have power for anything. Not for school, not for any social relationship including ours. I thought that I just hurt you by ignoring you and letting you alone like this, so I broke up. I thought that it might help my mental health, but it just got worse.
I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend again, even though that's what I'd want and need, I never stopped loving you, I just didn't have enough space for any social interactions at this moment and I was already struggling with myself. But I totally understand that you don't want me back, I should've at least tried to explain and not keep that situation a secret. I just really want you to know that I'm deeply, deeply sorry and I regret it."

She looked so disappointed.
There was no hope in her face, I saw the feeling of loss in her eyes.
"May?" Her eyes met mine.
"Listen to me please. I know that you feel miserable and not worthy for a second chance, but I never gave up on you. It's been "only" six months, but those were the most painful months in my entire life. Yes, you hurt me, but I was more worried about you than mad at you. I immediately realized that your mood changed, I just didn't know why. I tried to give you some space and I was desperate because I wanted to help you because I love you, I just didn't know how.
I'm not mad at you, I'm proud of you for trying to change something and trying to help yourself, it doesn't matter if it worked or not." I saw the hope coming back to her. She looked at me like a puppy looks at its owner. I put a slight smile on my face.

"It might take a while to make you smile again, but it's going to be worth it, and I want to do this with you. I'm on your side. Maybe we should give this a second try."

Her eyes widened and she smiled. I noticed her eyes filling with tears. Happy tears.

She nodded and my smile grew bigger. Our eyes were filled with relief and happiness. She looked so incredibly beautiful being this happy. "I am so in love with her", I thought.

My hands touched her face and she pulled into the kiss that I waited for too many months long.

We were finally back.