scaramouche's lore for people with short attention spans | Genshin Impact

scaramoo birth

*ei's sister and friends all tragically die*

ei: my stupid sister smh she should've known eternity is the only solution

*ei thinks about how to pursue eternity and for some reason thinks it's best to have a puppet rule over inazuma for her*

ei: ah yes i'll make a seg c male puppet to hold my gnosis cause i hate celestia grr

*scaramouche is born*

ei: here wake up and take this poopoo chest piece for me smh

scaramouche: aight *falls asleep and begins to george pig cry*

ei: man i made a crybaby fook he's so useless lmao

ONE DAY LATER...

*scaramouche starts crying again because of gnosis*

ei: his crying annoying fr HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!! *begins to cry*

yae miko: smfh bbg lemme teach you how to place your consciousnesses into objects to create a different plane of existence and you can name it something cool if you want 

ei: kk but let me get rid of this crybaby fook first *yawns*

*ei proceeds to abandon the hot seg c seg c did i mention seg c??? puppet in a domain you can complete for a few primos weariest* 

ei: now that that freak is outta here and i don't have to pay child support, i can finally create the perfect puppet

*raiden shogun is born*

ei: omg she's so cute!!! SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!! LITERALLY TOO SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!!!

ei to yae miko: take this chest piece you can sell it lmao idrc

yae miko: k *walks away with her seg c self*

ei to raiden shogun: here my beloved take this sword that i'm going to move into like it's a new house and shove it in your booba so you can use it to fight like any normal baddie

raiden shogun: whatever nerd shut up, choke, and die

ei: i love you too xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

MEANWHILE...

*a lonely scaramouche wakey wakies in abandoned domain*

scaramouche: omg this domain- he just like me!! he just like me fr!!! *starts crying jk cause he has no heart now*

scaramouche: mommy where is my mommy oh is this a door?? i'm gonna open it *opens the door* i'm gonna leave *leaves*


to be continued...