weak ➸ camren

a/n: there is hope

A/N: Alright! So before I post the next chapter, I wanted to address a message I got from a lovely little anon, and I figured I’d post it here so it’ll reach more people.

Anonymous said:i hope this isnt offensive, but. i usually don't like the 'self harm trope' or 'eating disorder trope' to get two characters together because... why? i never understood those types of fics, i dunno, it just always rubbed me the wrong way. but i've been reading weak, and i must say you are doing it and writing it very tastefully. and to my surprise i'm actually enjoying it (as opposed to the other fics with the same topic, etc.). i hope this didnt offend you, but yeah, really enjoying the fic

I love this message, so thank you cute lil’ anon!! To start off, I don't find this offensive at all. I definitely agree that some stories take advantage of mental illness/eating disorders to draw in a certain audience. My goal in writing this is to try and give accurate representation of an eating disorder and delve more into the science behind how someone with anorexia thinks. Which is why we see moments like the real Camila shining through when she decides to let Lauren see her emotional side for a few seconds, but she quickly puts her defenses back up. I wrote this with the intention of tackling the topic of an eating disorder respectfully and accurately. Of course there is a developing attraction between Camila and Lauren, but Camren is not being used to romanticize anorexia. For the time being Lauren has settled on taking the role of a supportive friend to Camila, because that's what she needs to be. It is not easy to love someone with an eating disorder because their mind refuses to accept love. Their relationship is not going to be perfect. There's going to be small victories and huge setbacks, just as there is in recovery from any disorder/illness/injury. Lauren is not going to kiss Camila's protruding ribs and tell her she's perfect - that's not how an eating disorder is ‘fixed.’ No matter how hard you try, one person cannot 'cure' another person's eating disorder. Anorexia is not beautiful. The person suffering from it is. I find that too often characters become their disorders and lose their identities without it. When you get Chicken Pox, you don't become Chicken Pox, right? Anorexia is a real, plausible thing that can be conquered. It is not beautiful - it is harmful, messy, destructive, and disorganized. But that says nothing about the person suffering from it. The last thing I want to do is to lead someone to think that Camila is a great character because she's anorexic, or wish themselves in her or Lauren's position - neither of those things is desirable. Watching someone struggle to fight anorexia is difficult; Lauren's character is struggling alongside Camila. On the flip side, Lauren is extremely intelligent and knows how to handle Camila, which is why we see her doing small things to point her in the right direction. Lauren is made to be an example to those who know someone struggling with a disorder. Lauren is patient, Lauren is muteable, Lauren is THERE. Lauren is aware that she alone cannot fix Camila, but she is by her side regardless, allowing her to set the pace for and be in charge of her own recovery, which is what Camila needs. She needs someone to fight for her and beside her. Lauren can't save her. Lauren can only give her the resources she needs to save herself. 'Weak' is aimed to shed light on eating disorders and show that recovery is very possible - but it isn't all rainbows and butterflies and confessions of love in the hospital. It's difficult, painful, and it doesn't take a definite route. But it is POSSIBLE. It is more than possible. And I hope if any of you can relate to this story that you can gain hope from this. Hopefully that makes sense! ❤