weak ➸ camren

chapter 19 ➸ something i'll regret

The next week or so passed slowly. Camila and Lauren kept their distance, both afraid of hurting one another. The only time they spent together was during meals, when Camila would trudge downstairs and eat whatever she could force in her mouth. Lauren would monitor her closely while she ate; making sure the smaller girl had a reasonable amount of food each day.

Camila slowly realized that she wasn't sure who 'Camila' was anymore. She felt more like 'Ana,' than herself. It scared her tremendously, but she was even more scared of getting better to try and do something about it. She was stuck. Stuck somewhere inbetween a rock and a hard place. Camila felt like there was no way out.

It was a Friday night. A year ago, Lauren would've been out with friends at a party of some sort. But now, she sat on the couch, staring blankly at whatever movie was playing on the TV. Camila had already retreated back upstairs into the bedroom, which she practically never left.

Lauren couldn't tell if things were getting better. Camila rarely talked about how she felt anymore, and Lauren couldn't help but blame herself for pushing the smaller girl away. Dinah had advised her to give Camila time to come around, but Lauren was growing scared that the smaller girl would never 'come around.'

She sighed and felt around for the TV remote, clicking off the movie. The room grew silent. Lauren wandered into the Pepto Bismo kitchen. Camila's guitar caught her eye in the corner of the room. She hadn't seen the girl pick up the guitar since their confrontation a few days ago. It hurt her to think that Camila was so affected by this.

Unsure of what else to do, Lauren began washing the dirty dishes in the sink. They'd been piling up the past few days, and neither she nor Camila had gained any motivation to do them. She hummed to herself absentmindedly. Lauren was almost finished when she heard an ear piercing shriek coming from upstairs. The plate in her hand fell to the floor and shattered across the tile, but Lauren ignored it. She immediately sprinted up the stairs towards the source of the noise.

"Camila?!" she called, unsure of where the smaller girl was. She heard a sniffle from the bathroom and quickly tried to enter the room, but realized the door was locked. "Camila, let me in," she said firmly, trying not to appear as anxious as she really was.

"Go away, Lauren," Camila's small, shaky voice echoed through the door. Lauren continued to try and break the lock.

"Camila, I swear, if you don't let me in I'll b—," she was cut off when she heard the small lock click. Lauren immediately burst into the bathroom, finding a distraught Camila standing in front of the mirror.

"Happy?" Camila snarled, shaking her head and turning away from Lauren. Her hands were entangled in her hair and she quickly tried to slip out of the room. Lauren blocked her before she could.

"What is going on?" Lauren breathed, anxiously biting her lip. Camila just shook her head as another set of tears welled in her eyes. "Camila," Lauren warned, sending the smaller girl a firm glare.

"Why do you care?" Camila spat. She tried to push past Lauren again but the green eyed girl continued to move and block her way out. Camila huffed, growing frustrated and tightening her grip on her hair.

"I've always cared, Camila," Lauren shook her head in disbelief. "Why are you being so m—?"

"Shut up!" Camila screamed, taking a few steps backwards and sliding down against the wall. Lauren froze. "I-I hate this," she sniffed, shaking her head and turning her gaze away from Lauren.

"Hate what?" Lauren asked quietly. She knelt down next to Camila, placing a hand on her shoulder cautiously.

"This," Camila sighed, finally giving in. She pulled her hands away from her head and held up two clumps of brown hair, dropping them to the floor in front of her. "I'm falling apart," she whispered. Her voice cracked and another sob escaped her body.