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I had this dream where you and I had born a life out of our misery/
that is to say, we had fucked so aimlessly that you had forgotten I was fragile/
and now, when that life stares back at me, I can only see her mirroring your fatherlessness/
because love forces you to see the things that you can never get, is that why I am reminded of you whenever I see her blue dead eyes?/
who would have thought, blue would be the colour of death for someone someday/
but you made it happen/
like a God who has visited hell to know that the colour of torture resembles blue/
like the kind of blue that resembled the girl's hair who had rejected you in your class - you were a God birthed through rejection and revenge and not through self-reflection.
That is to say, you made me believe that you were a God who knew about the upcoming collapse in our building/
that is, you would have know that where is the needle that my mother lost as she was stitching the sweater that my dad refuses to discard/
just like how you would have known that you would have destroyed me as soon as we touched- I didn't know God could be selfish - and now I know you never were one.
