Squidward and the Clarinet

The Squid Snaps

After years of hearing incessant screaming and singing in the kitchen, Squidward finally learned that life itself was too hard for a squid. He would live his life not caring for anything or anyone, not feeling, not loving, and would just wait and die. The only thing that kept Squidward alive was his clarinet. He could not leave his clarinet. He dealt with Spongebob. He daelt with him and he dealt with him and he dealt with him. By the time Squidward was 36, and he had spent 20 years in the fast food industry, his mother died quietly of a heart attack. Squidward broke. He began seeing hallucinations of Jim and his mother. He got out of bed only to poop and sometimes not even that. His clarinet playing grew worse as it lay beside him in his bed. He just listened to the annoying noises of Spongebob and his friend, Patrick squealing about nonsense. Squidward did nothing. He lay in bed for weeks and weeks, filter feeding. One day, after Squidward cried himself to sleep, Squidward finally did not feel sad, he felt angry. He went down to the bar and robbed it at gunpoint for just a bottle of the hardest liquor. He walked slowly back home. Patrick had run straightup to Squidward and screamed in his ear, "Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as, PICKLE FISH LIPS!". That was it for Squid. He smashed his bottle over Patrick's head and slowly cut along his tubby, pink stomach. The blood spilled over Patrick's body like a waterfall. Just as Squidward had realised what he had done, Spongebob called out for Patrick. Squidward quickly drug Patrick writhing, dying body into his home. Spongebob had seen nothing. Squidward threw up into his toilet after seeing and comprehending what he had done to Patrick. Squidward realised what he had done to poor, innocent, defenseless Patrick. Then he realised what he had done to annoying, dangerous, terrible Patrick. Squid had snapped, not realising what decision he had just made about so many people.