Between Never and Maybe

One.

"It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice."-Joseph Conrad

"Submit your term paper by the end of the day or you will be automatically graded as zero. Class dismissed." Rinig ko ang pag-alma ng mga kaklase ko sa inannounce ni Ms. Bautista, sino ba namang hindi maloloka sa term paper na individual? Napabuntong-hininga ako at hinilot ang sintido kong nananakit ulit. Kinuha ko na ang gamit ko at naglakad na palabas ng lecture hall.

"Natasha Vivienne Larrosa! Anyare sa mukha mo hahaha" Bungad sa akin ni Haze nang makalabas na ako, my long face seemed to have indicated that I don't want to talk about it kaya di na lang din niya pinilit. We headed to the cafeteria para maglunch and I mentally reminded myself to submit the paper after eating para wala nang alalahanin mamaya.

"So how was class for you? Miss na kita uwaaaa." Bungad ni Haze habang kumakain kami.

"Teh di ka pa ba nananawa, halos limang taon na din tayo nagkakakitaan ng mukha." Tawa ko na siya namang ikinanguso niya. It was a big move for her, considering na we were always in the same section from grade 8 hanggang gumraduate kami ng senior high. Di ko sigurado kung nataon lang o ipinakiusap niya sa mama niya na wag siya ihiwalay sa akin.

As she was eating her sandwich, I felt nostalgia on remembering how we  met each other.

Five years ago...

It was a cloudy first day at Valiente High, and I was about to do the speech representing the whole batch of grade 8 students. My heart was thumping very loudly and I didn't know what was with this school at pati grade 8 class may paganito. And who in their right mind starts the school year on a friday?

"Now let us call on the representative of the grade 8 class who got the highest score, Ms. Natasha Vivienne Larrosa." I stood up and heard the sound of my shoes on the floor as I went to the stage.

The speech went by fast, along with the ceremony. Wala naman akong kakilala dito kaya dumiretso na lang din ako sa classroom namin. I situated myself in the seat near the window and waited for the homeroom teacher to arrive. It was 7 in the morning, so we still had 30 minutes before the class officially starts. I looked past the window to the field where I can see various upperclassmen practicing for various sports. "How early." ,I thought.

Unti-unti na ring umiingay ang room dahil dumadating na ang iba pang mga estudyante. But one particular group's topic rang through my ears.

"Uy, kaklase daw natin yung Harlene."

"Ano ba 'yan, di naman matalino yun bakit dito pa."

"Alam mo na, ginamit na naman siguro status ng mama niya."

"Siguro nga, huy alam niyo ba malandi daw yun? Sinusubukan daw harutin si Sir Javier nung grade 6."

"Ay ambata pa lang makiri na, yuck."

The gossip session was cut short nang dumating na ang homeroom teacher na si Ms. Calleja. On her side was a girl with medium-length brown hair that fell on her sides. Sa unang tingin malalaman mong anak-mayaman.

"Class, this is Harlene Azelle Valiente, she will be with us for this year." Rinig ko ang bulungan ng mga kaklase ko, kung macoconsider man na bulong ang mga iyon. Alam kong rinig din niya but she didn't make a move to express her protest. She just muttered a quick hello to the class that almost seemed to fall on deaf ears.