His Unexpected Goodbye

Epilogue

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How I wish I could tell all of you that we ended up together, but we didn't. It was the wrong time for our love, but I knew he was the right person. It hurts to see him go, and it hurts more knowing that I could never see him again. He's somewhere out there, it just stings my heart because I can't see him.

Living a life with him gone was the most excruciating thing I ever felt, everyday was a battle, it was a battle that I faced alone. I didn't understand my surroundings, and for so long, I just distanced myself.

To be honest, I hated the world and blamed it for being unfair. I hated everything because I lost the one thing that once kept me going. I hated myself too, because I continued to live with my 'what ifs' and it made things harder.

Yet Korics... he was the most beautiful memory that I forever treasure, he made me feel things that are so unexplainable but it's the most comfortable feeling, and he... taught me how to love, to give the kind of love I never thought I was capable of giving.

He imprinted so much in me, he became this part of me that's vulnerable and he might not be here with us anymore, but he's now in our hearts. Although it hurts, I know I shouldn't stay in the shadows forever.

If only I could bring back time... if only I could request for at least a day with him, I would do anything just to have that kind of opportunity. I miss his touch, I miss his scent, I miss him, and I miss everything about him.

What we had... was something magical, and even if I had to curse the world and throw my anger at it, I still thank it for letting me and Korics experience all of those before he had to go back home to paradise.

For the past days, weeks, months, and almost up to a year... I felt like I was dead for all the pain my heart suffered, but his love kept me alive. He wanted to live, I knew that, he wanted to stay, he wanted to be with us, he wanted to remain in this world no matter how chaotic it may seem.

He wanted to live, and when he didn't get the chance to have that, I lived for him. Some days, it gets tough, but every time I plan on giving up, he crosses my mind and he reminds me that I need to work hard because I promised him.

While I continued to live my life, trying to absorb the pain and trying to mourn while accepting the fate, I could still see bits and pieces of him everywhere I go, I would still be constantly reminded about him and those special occasions we celebrate together. He was always around me, he may not be there physically, but he was present in the people and in the things around me. It kept me going, it sparkled my hope.

As I remember him waiting for me, it's evident that this time, it's my turn to wait for him, and I don't care if I might look stupid or might look like a fool, I would still wait. I will wait for that right time, and this time... I don't care how much tiring, long, or even if it might never come... I would still wait.

With him gone, the magic remained. It hurts yes, but at the same time... it made me tougher to face my other defeats, to fight in my other battles, to get ready for the war. He is always there, I reminded myself...

I visit him often, bringing him flowers, making him those toilet paper roses he gives me when we were in Siargao, even if I don't have a motorcycle, I kept that helmet he customized for me, I would go to the boulevard every night and eat at that food stall, even if it breaks my heart.

I would always include him in our group plans even if he wasn't present anymore, I will still bring him up with the others just to stain a thought in my mind that he will always have a spot.

I would visit his family every once in a while just to check on them, he loves them so much and for sure he would be happy seeing them healing, it might be a slow process, but it matters. I would stare at his motorcycle, and bring back those memories of us riding it.

Again, the more I lived, everything was suddenly about him, every single thing I see reminds me of him, everywhere I go I would see his face on every stranger, every time I felt the need to cry for his loss, I would feel as if he's there looking at me.

I know it would still take me a lot of time and a lot of getting used to before I could ever say that I'm fine and that I've moved forward carrying the pain where I don't feel it's weight that much anymore, and I was willing to wait until I knew I was good.

Losing him broke me, that's no lie. But with the promises I made, I had no choice, I had to live like this. I know I could never fully heal from the pain.

I don't know if I could ever meet someone as loving, caring, sweet, charming like him. I didn't think I was ever capable of giving that kind of love again... to somebody else. Because after losing him, I just wanted to live for myself. I didn't want to meet new people, I felt contented with my own circle, with myself.

Here I am, sitting on the bench where we sat in the boulevard. Looking at the empty space that used to be filled by him, wishing on every star... hoping I'd catch a glimpse of what we could have been.

I am Savelle Roxia Elviera, pained by His Unexpected Goodbye.

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His Unexpected Goodbye, Book 1 of His Trilogy, has now ended.

Thank you for being with Savelle and Korics' journey, I hope you learned a thing or two from them. I had all of these different emotions while writing this, and I'm glad that I made my way through it. Also, I'm grateful for everyone who supported me, and saying 'thank you' is not enough to show how gratified I am.

Anyways, this doesn't end here my beloved readers! Because now, let's head on to Book 2 of His Trilogy!

After being with Savelle and Korics, be with Vrylle and Nycho in His Doubtful Promises (HT #2).

Now published and completed.

— roseewithnothorns