Balance And Control

Secret No More

Have you ever attempted to hide part of your life from the person that means the most to you? Well, try doing it for over a decade. Not telling Makkari about my relationship with Druig was killing me, and by 485 B.C.E, I was ready to spill my guts. 

“Even the fact that we kept us a secret for fifteen years is incredible. I mean the amount of times someone almost walked in on us,” I rambled, pacing in my room, talking to no one. “Thank goodness for my ability to slip into the shadows. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the charade. I have to tell someone or I might explode!” 

I made up my mind: I had to tell Makkari. But first I had to check and make sure Druig was okay with it. I opened my door to go and find him, almost colliding with Sersi. “Oh!” 

“Ereida, hi, I was just coming to see you,” she said, lowering her hand from when she was about to knock. 

“What’s up?” I asked, stepping aside and allowing her into the room. Telling Makkari would have to wait. 

“I need some advice.”

That caught me off guard; people always went to Ajak for advice. “Sure.”

She sat down on my bed, fiddling with the hem of her emerald suit, biting her lip anxiously. “It’s about Ikaris. It’s just…we’ve been together for almost a century and it feels like we’re going nowhere. I know a century isn’t that long, especially for us, but it feels like we’re stuck, like we’ve gotten too comfortable. It doesn’t feel spontaneous anymore.”

I contemplated the situation for a minute. Ikaris and Sersi’s relationship seemed perfect on the outside, it never occurred to me that they could be anything less than happy. 

“Have you thought about telling Ikaris how you’ve been feeling?” I suggested, sitting beside her. 

“I don’t know how he’d take it, honestly. What if he thinks that I’m bored with him, that I don’t want him anymore?”

“Sersi,” I began, taking her hand, “if he gets that defensive over you being unhappy with how things are progressing, then he isn't worth it. But, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, so much adoration and love. He wants you, Sersi, and he wants you to be happy. Tell him how you feel.”

“When did you get so wise?” she giggled, ruffling my hair. 

“I’ve always been the smartest aboard this ship, no one’s ever noticed,” I grinned. 

“You know that look of adoration and love you see from Ikaris? That’s how Druig looks at you.”

My face went bright red and I became suddenly interested in examining my sheets. “What, no! Druig, yuck. I would never…I mean could you imagine? Just…I…no way,” I sputtered, sounding totally unconvincing. 

Sersi started to tickle me, both of us laughing. “You know, Eri, you two aren’t as sneaky as you think you are.”

“What, what do you mean?” I gasped between laughing fits. 

“You really think you can live with us for this long and we wouldn’t realize you two were dating?” 

“How…how long have you known?”

“When was it that Sprite made up the story of your martyrdom?” She ceased her tickling and I sat upright, staring at her in shock, my sides aching. 

“Like, fifteen years ago?”

“A week after that,” she smirked. 

“Does everyone know?”