Sarah Paulson (characters) One Shots

A cure for loneliness - W.V. x Reader

She could feel every muscle in her body, every single bone, the blood pumping through her veins. She felt like her body was about to betray her, about to give up on her. She tightened her grip on her cane, her knuckles turning white. Holding her body upright took all the strength she could muster, the pain in her back almost making her fall to her knees. She felt like crying, felt like screaming. Her ears were ringing and if she would loose her death grip on her cane, her hands would tremble uncontrollably.

And yet, her face remained unmoving. No one was able to be able to see her discomfort, her pain. No one - except you.

Over the years you had learned to read her like an open book. She had more telltale signs than she would ever think.

Whenever she was in pain she would grip her cane just a little harder. She would drag her feet over the floor just a second longer. When her cane hit the floor it was just a little louder than usually. Her responses would be even shorter, her voice even colder. But you could always see it in her eyes. They would be darker, harder, devoid of any emotion for she would rather seem dead than in pain.

Jeff and Mutt were still talking and from the way she shifted her weight from one leg to the other you knew that she couldn't stand much longer. She bit her lip, almost drawing blood and her eyes closed for a second too long.

You cleared your throat, "As much as we're enjoying your ramblings, Ms. Venable has another important meeting she has to get to. So if you'll excuse us.". You weren't even sure if they heard you. They were still rambling on but you just couldn't bring yourself to care.

Wilhemina looked at you quizzically but you just gave her a nod. She walked to the door slowly, trying to keep her posture upright. She could hear her mother's voice in her head - always telling her to be strong, to stop making a fuss, to just keep her back straight.

You walked right next to her, keeping your eyes fixed on her body, ready to catch her if she would fall. She walked faster now, like she was trying to get away. The sound of her cane clicking turning into laughter. Memories came flooding back to her - how everyone made fun of her, how they would laugh at her and call her names, how she always felt like the monster under their bed.

When you finally reached the door to her office she couldn't hide her trembling hands anymore. She fiddled with her keys only to drop them to the floor, letting out a shaky breath. You immediately grabbed them, gently motioning for her to step aside so you could unlock the door.

Upon entering her office, Mina could barely stand anymore. You gently linked your arm through the one not holding on to her cane, wordlessly guiding her to the armchair in the corner of her office. You gently eased her down, taking her cane out of her hand and leaning it against the table next to the chair. You went to your desk and opened the drawer, finally finding the painkillers you were looking for. When you had first started working for her you had written down the name of the pills she would usually take so you'd have them on hand if she ever needed them. You took a bottle of water from her fridge and brought both over to her, placing it on the table.

Mina could barely look at you. When your eyes found hers you saw all the pain she was trying to hide, all the embarrassment she felt, the humiliation of showing herself in a vulnerable state. Of being human. "Mina. You should take the pills.", you motioned to the little bottle next to her while you handed her the water. And to your surprise, she did as you told her.

"It's too bad they only can ease physical discomfort.", you almost didn't hear her, "I wish there was something I could take that would make the memories go away." When you looked at her you realized she was staring ahead and you were sure she didn't realize she said those words out loud. Her eyes were glossing over, a layer of tears which were threatening to spill gathering in her brown orbs.

You knelt in front of her, trying not to startle her, your hand gently touching her knee. "Mina, it's okay to be in pain. It's okay to feel hurt and sad. You don't need to hide. At least not when you're here with me. I understand and I wish I could do anything to help." You were surprised when she looked at you, a tear making it's way down her cheek followed by another. And another.

You could not imagine how much pain she must be in for her to let you witness her like this. In all those years she had never let you in on any of her struggles. "It hurts. Everything just hurts so much.", she whispered, tearing you away from your thoughts, meeting her gaze once more. Tears were still escaping her beautiful eyes, her cheeks stained and her lips trembling. You could almost feel her pain, her anguish and you wanted nothing more than to take it away and carry it for her instead.

You gave her a sad smile which she did not return, averting her gaze when a new onslaught of tears captured her body. You decided you could not just sit around so you got up and held out your hands. Mina looked at you and then at your hands for a while and when you thought she was just going to ignore you, she took them in hers and intertwined her fingers with yours.

You gently pulled her upright, your eyes never leaving hers. You looked for any signs of her being uncomfortable and when you could not make out any you encircled her shaking body with your arms, holding her close to you.

You felt her whole body tighten but you just held on to her and after a while you could feel her leaning in to your embrace. You gently let one of her hands wander to the back of her head, gently playing with her hair. She buried her face in the crook of your neck, finally allowing her concealed emotions to come out of their hiding space. Her beaten body shaking with sobs, all of her pain overwhelming her. You could feel her legs giving out so you held on tighter to her frail form, slowly sitting down on the chair while you pulled her into you. She held on to you like she would to her lifeline, her grip tight around your neck. You rubbed circles on her back, trying to calm her while you whispered in her ear that it was okay to be sad, to cry, to scream. You didn't think she actually heard you but you needed something other than her sobs to focus on for you would just cry with her if you weren't.

When her sobs turned into sniffles and her grip loosened a bit, you opened your embrace, not wanting her to feel trapped or suffocated. "Just a while longer, please.", you heard her whisper and your heart broke for the woman sitting on your lap.

And then you realized that no one probably ever held her before. That she had never felt a loving, comforting embrace in all her life. That she didn't know what it felt like to be taken care of, to be protected, to the be loved. You encircled her once more, trying to pour all the love and warmth you could give into her while you rested your lips against her forehead. "I'll hold you forever if you want me to."