Part V - Gone
I stand in front of her casket, her eyes closed. It was as if I stared long enough, some of my life could make her eyes pop open, and take a deep breath as she sat up.
I grab her hand as a tear runs down my face. I pull out a piece of paper and place it under her hands.
It almost could feel her curiosity to what the note said. It wasn't a note, it was the song I wrote her. I am to perform it along with a speech. I never got to sing it to her, and I will always regret it.
I was sobbing as I stare at her.
"I am sorry I never got to prove how much I love you," I whisper in her ear.
After what was a blur, I was standing in front of her family.
"First of all, I am Brianna's boyfriend. Well, I was going to propose to her after the tour, and I was going to perform this song to her too. I guess I learned to always do things immediately, not wait." I let out a shaky breath. "I loved her so much, here's my speech." I take out the paper and read from it.
"Brianna was a beautiful girl, born May 15, 2001. Bri, she had a hard life. This beautiful girl now lays behind us, in a casket." I couldn't do this. I rip up the paper and continue, "Brianna can be very stubborn, that's why we never got to take her to the hospital. I remember Brianna always looking in pain, it was hard when she would always insist she was fine. You just had to believe her, there was nothing else you could do," I laugh a little as I wipe a tear. "Brianna was the love of my life, and I don't know how I am still standing here. She kept me going. Always and forever." I finish, and sit back down.
Her mom came, the jail actually let her. As she stood behind the pulpit, I watched her. She looked very heart broken, eyes shot red stringed around dull hazel eyes, hair messy-like, and still in the bright orange jumpsuit as she stood in front of two buff prison guards. Tap. Tap. She tapped on the mic a couple times before she took a huge sigh that echoed and cracked through the air.
"I am Brianna's mother. I guess most of you know the stories of her past, the reason I am in jail. Well, I am sorry about that, truly I am. I wish my daughter and I didn't end off on the wrong foot. The last time I saw her, was before the police took me away." She wiped a couple tears.
"My daughter laid there, limp and scared. I knew I was wrong, but it was too late. She was already a orphan as I walked out that door. My husband knew that too, unfortunately he cannot be here.. He hung himself in the jail cell. Same with my ex-husband."
The rest was a blur. That was until I had to sing Brianna her song.
"Now, Toby will you come sing for us?"
I wrap my guitar around me and push myself off the black chair. I walk up to the front with a 'hi, I'm Toby again'.
"This is a song I wrote for Bri, it's called Thinking Out Out," I smile and start to strum my guitar.
"When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me - I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same
'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand
That, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are (oh ohh)
La la la la la la la la la
So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And, we found love right where we are..." I breathe out and strum the last note. The whole crowd goes wild, and I knew, Brianna was happy - because I was happy.
And I was probably happy forever, with Brianna's smile always in my mind.
