HololiveEn Text Messages

the cracked adventures of mumei and kronii

kronii: hey mumei were you in that holoministry stream?
mumei: the one with the boys that look like us?
kronii: yeah do you know the guy who called you 'cute'?
mumei: oh uh, that guy with the red hair
kronii: alright do you want rat stew for dinner today?
mumei: owls can eat rats right?
kronii: yeah youre fine :)
kronii: rat stew for tonight <3

*

kronii: i'll be ur alarm clock mumei
kronii: i'll ring so loud you'll get so annoyed
kronii: and you'll smash me 😳
mumei: alarms dont work on me sorry :(
kronii: .

*

kronii: mumei youre smart right?
mumei: i forgor 💀
kronii: owls are smart tho
mumei: ok gimme a math question
kronii: whats the sum of U+me?
mumei: uh....
Legends say that Mumei is still figuring out the answer to the 'math question'

*

Kronii first meeting mumei and hanging out with her
kronii in the next holocouncil meeting: ive only met mumei for a day and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

*

mumei: hey kronii i have a joke for you!
kronii: hmmm~ go ahead
mumei: r u a time traveler? because i can see u in my future!
kronii: MUMEI I-
mumei: good joke right?
kronii: (crying) yeah- its good...

*

kronii: mumei youre rlly good at drawing!
mumei: thank you!
kronii: you know i could pose nude for you and you could draw me...
mumei: but i draw digitally
kronii: i'll send you a reference
mumei: ok!
kronii: ???
kronii: UH- OK
Kronii never gained enough confidence to send Mumei a reference

*

bae: hey mumei if you tell me whether youre top or bottom i'll tell you the positions for me and irys!
mumei: but i already know the answer bae
bae: what is it?
mumei: er-
mumei: i forgor
bae: >:)
bae: so could you tell me? :D
mumei: i forgor
bae: god damnnit-

*

mumei: hey kronii what would you get for me for my bday?
kronii: my heart
mumei: didnt you tell me someone stole it?
kronii: oh-

*

kronii: hey so i heard you asked mumei about her... role in bed...
bae: (gulp) y-yeah
kronii: cringe stuttering in text
kronii: am i that intimidating?
bae: i uhm
bae: just too much role-playing with irys
kronii: right
kronii: well you know im meant to cook dinner tonight for mumei
kronii: so-
bae: (furiously sweating)

*

fauna: mumei where were you yesterday?
mumei: with kronii for dinner!
fauna: oh i see...
fauna: well mumei have you seen bae?
mumei: no? what happened? :o
fauna: idk thats why im asking :(
mumei: no! without a leader what will we do?!
fauna: its okay i think calli will bring her back to life
fauna: apparently theyre sisters i think
mumei: yay bae is gonna come back!

*

kronii: sometimes i think you remember some of the most bizarre things and forget the easiest stuff
mumei: example?
kronii: whats my name and what was the math question i asked you?
mumei: i forgor your name...
mumei: oh and whats the sum of U+me
kronii: crying