Avery's (terrible) Guide To Have Fun

01 : cat fight

"AVERY RAMOS DOES NOT REGRET HIS ACTIONS."

That is a nice start to introduce most of my experience. That I do not regret my actions. And it is not the case that I am the person who only does the right things, little mister perfect. No, that was my crush from seventh grade and we are not going to talk about him. I make mistakes and I am a certified asshole for more than a few things. But I own the consequences of my actions. And normally, the risk of a particular action is pretty calculated. For example, if I cheat on a test and the teachers call my mom when I get caught, my older sister will make up an excuse and guilt the teachers into pitying me. Or if I come home drunk and late at night, my sister will let me off with a few scoldings and probably cut pizza for a week, which is fair.

My sister does a lot for me. She might be just nine years older than me, but she has taken care of me more than our mother has. I do not even think it is fair to say "our" but whatever. Val, aka Vanilla, aka Valerie, aka my lovely older sister, asks me to be pleasant to mom for dropping in-between months to check if we are alive or not. And also she threatens to cut off my monthly pocket money and it is not like I get paid well from the part-time job I have. She cooks food on my demand every day even though as a junior resident, she is overtired most of the time. She helps me with my homework, listens to me complain about school and people without showing any form of irritation. And trust me, I am one of the most annoying guys in the town. I will not stop bragging or talking, it is one of my favourite things about myself. 

Of course, there are times when my strength becomes my weakness and I accidentally tell my sister about how I sneaked to a party and she was snoring so loud that she did not even notice. Things did not end well for me that day, but I deserved it. She gave me a glare for two days and kissed my forehead, pulled my ears hard before telling me to take care of myself. Then asks me about the hickeys on my neck. (For which I specifically tell my hookups to not give me marks where people can see). No one can be as sweet as her. Vanilla Valeria has also sneaked to loads of parties before when dad was with us and not in wherever he is now. So even if she sees me sneaking out, she does not say much.

Again, the coolest sister ever. Even if she might look like the most boring person alive.

Here is something that is pretty usual after sneaking out and I almost regret it every time. But it is my human tendency to fuck things up, stir drama or the school will be too boring. Mostly I know what I do, I know the shit and I know the side effects to it but sometimes alcohol does not prefer to give me enough time to calculate the risk. Sometimes at the moment, I drink a little more than I can handle. Like one time I threw up all over Ashley and she made me pay for dry cleaning or when I accidentally kissed my best friend's ex-boyfriend or when I almost skinny-dipped in Nolan Santiago's pool and threw the cake into it as an apology to my best friend.

But regret punches my stomach like a school bully at an ungodly hour of four in the morning.  Like everyone needs someone to blame a situation they created on their own, the blame of all this mess goes to Sierra who made me play beer pong even though she knew I would lose. God, this has got to be a joke because I do not plan to wake up next to Kamil Qureshi. He lays beside me so peacefully, with velvet red hickeys showing off on his neck and fuck I messed up this time. The dim light coming from the yellow light in the passage makes me squint my eyes. Even though, in twenty per cent brightness from the wall and my phone's flashlight, Kamil's olive back glows. What the hell is wrong with me?

I am not freaking out that I did whatever I do with a boy, I have been with a handful of boys and I like it even. But it's Kamil Qureshi. A silent unspoken deal is between us from the beginning of freshman year, and it is to hate with the same passion and cut each other off in between everything. It annoys the hell out of me, and Kamil Qureshi loves that. He and his entire group of friends has a weird hobby to act as an almighty cliché high school group of preps and jocks and trust me I hate this so much.