By My Side

Chapter 9 - Visions and Truths

Author's Note: In which Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and Palpatine... and some secrets are told.

PS: I don't think I could ever say how much I hate Palpatine, so I won't even try. xD

Also, I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone reading this! :D I never expected to get so much attention.

~ Rivana Rita

It's very late when Anakin finally leaves Padme's apartment and heads back to the Temple. He thankfully managed to dodge any mentions of what happened to Ahsoka – he can't talk about it yet. After he's done, he'll have to leave the recordings somewhere. He's going to have a little something to say to everyone, just in case, and he'll have to leave them in more than one place. Artoo can keep one version of the recording, but he logically knows how dangerous that is. The last thing he needs is the Separatists getting ahold of it. It won't be safe anywhere other than at the Temple and Padme's apartment, if he's careful, and he shouldn't have to worry about Artoo knowing, right?

He'll chose his room in Obi-Wan's apartment. Ahsoka is too likely to poke around in his room otherwise. And if he starts it with telling them not to watch it, that's exactly what she's going to do. He feels a fond amusement before it just as quickly fades as he remembers the reason he's back in the past.

Did she love me? He thinks so. Maybe. Just... not enough.

...did she know how much I love her? That, he doubts. He doesn't think anyone does if he's being honest. He never talked about it to anyone other than Padme on Naboo once, and he isn't even certain if she understood what he was saying. Any other desires to tell anyone how he felt towards them have long since been suppressed by Obi-Wan. How he wishes he could have told her, have even been able to find words to tell Ahsoka how grateful he was for her presence, for her being the only person to truly understand him. And maybe, he wonders sometimes, the only person who was satisfied with him later on, who didn't want him to be someone other than who he was, who wanted to save him because... him. Not in some sort of twisted indebtment.

She's still young, you know. She can learn. She can change.

Maybe. Hopefully. He couldn't bear the pain of losing her again.

Can he change things? Or is the future set in stone? No, he can't believe that. Maybe everything was supposed to happen, but he can't – won't sit back and let it.

***

Nightmares are very rare among Jedi, and Obi-Wan hasn't had any since years ago shortly after Qui-Gon's death. Even those faded shortly thereafter, and he delt with them the same way he did all other harrowing experiences, by releasing it into the Force. The images, the thoughts, they always faded instantly He's never, ever had a time where that didn't seem to work. Until now.

Trying to tell himself that it was just a dream doesn't make it feel any less real. He could almost swear he both saw and felt Anakin die, and the full force of their bond snapping apart, even though it's holding strong.

Anakin is shielding heavily, but traces of a general darkness slip through. He's still awake, even if it's late.

How many times has Obi-Wan told him to go to bed early so he doesn't spend the morning in a half-zombie-like state? His fond amusement mixed with annoyance fades away when the memory of his dream flashes through his mind. He's struck by the sudden urge to find Anakin to see if he's alright.

Well, if Anakin is awake anyway, what could it hurt?

The only part that leaves him shaken up is the dream itself. It felt too real. Perhaps he saw some of the same future Anakin did? No. It's unthinkable. Anakin couldn't die from something like that. It simply could not happen.