King of the Fall

Chapter 10

(Abel)

I stayed longer than I should have. Thinking about things that didn't matter. Making music that wouldn't be heard. I thought about a girl who didn't love me and moments that I couldn't share. I thought about all the wicked games she was playing and all the threads laying bare.

Man, I wanted to tell her to come back and love me again. She was so lost in her world right now. It had been weeks since I'd last seen her and touched her. One day, lost among the many that didn't matter. Our moments together were hushed, muted. She also, didn't seem to care.

So, why should I care? Why should I show emotions that she was so devoid of? But I did show them. Every time I snapped at someone's questions, I showed them. Every time I refused to go to the club and drink, I showed them. I showed them and showed them and showed them again. Like some emotional fool who didn't have a single hand in the game being played. I knew that if Elize did call, I'd go around to her.

I called her couple of times but her phone was switched off. She wasn't at home either. She was out fucking some other guy, while I was here, crying about her. But did Abel really matter to her? The real Abel? The guy who hid behind the smell of expensive alcohol and a cloud of smoke. The guy whose numb face and microphone hid the reality of his feelings? She never loved me. She lied, repeatedly. But damn, it was in her nature to lie and I wasn't one to question any of them. I was hiding from who I was and what I felt for so long that feeling this was a fucking damned curse. I never knew what I was thinking because mostly, I thought of her. I never knew what I was feeling because mostly I felt for her. But the worst part... I never knew where I was looking because I was too busy looking for her.

(Elize)

It had been a week since Dad had passed. I had nothing left to do. My heart was broken, and my head was numb. I drank and just drank in my house out of state. I didn't go to work, I was on leave. I was still grieving. I was crying, bawling my eyes out and drinking. My phone was off and all communication gone and the one person I thought of was Abel and how I needed him right now.

But calling him would mean, embracing the reality of my dad's death because I would be telling him the fact. I was broken. I was broken and I knew it and there was nothing I could do about it. So I bought a couple more bottles of vodka, three packs of cigarettes, a lighter and two bottles of tequila and drove back home in the state of the worst hangover I'd ever been through. I'd been a drunk for four days now. It suited me well because I never went for the hard drugs and never looked for the soft ones.

So, I drank some more to drown my feelings and make myself numb. And, I drank some more to drown the love that I was clearly hiding from.

Who was I right now? I knew that every time I looked in the mirror, I looked worse. I looked thinner. I hadn't eaten in a while. I looked sicker, I'd been throwing up for a while. I looked crazy, I'd driven myself insane for a while. I wanted love. I wanted to be fucked numb and so, I went to the bar and picked up a guy and came home and fucked him for two days before smoothly kicking him out.

My dad was gone. The only solid structure of my life. My mom was living with her sister, herself a ball of death and tears. I couldn't handle her until I handled myself and that didn't seem so close.

One and a half week had passed by. I hadn't seen Abel since the day we drowned in pleasure because the next day, my dad died. I hated saying those words to myself. But I was a motherfucking shipwreck of a person. I went out again, got another guy. Fucked and sucked until I passed out. And did it again when I woke up before kicking him out.

Time to call Abel, I thought. I couldn't keep doing this to myself.

I trudged to my phone and put it to charge, my head and heart throbbing. I turned my phone on and then dialled his number. It rang twice before he picked it up. "Hello," he said in a clipped tone. "Abel," I whispered. "Whoa, whoa, what's wrong? Elize, what's wrong?" He sensed it. I smiled to myself. "I'm outside the city... I'm... sick. I don't know how to tell you. I'm sorry. I just... I want to see you. I want to talk to you. Can you please... please, come here? I know I've been a dick. I know I should've called earlier. I just..." "Elize, where are you?" "I'll text you the address. Will you come?" "I will." "Okay," I said. "I love you, Abel." "I love you too."

Click. I sent him the address and he texted back saying that he'd be here in four hours. I kept the phone away and cleaned up a bit before taking a shower. I threw the condoms away and the empty bottles and cigarette packets away. I changed into shorts and a tank top and waited for him.

He would be here in two hours. I turned the TV on and looked through the channels. I looked through everything and settled on the news. I thought of everything but what I was going through. I thought of Abel's arms and his kiss and how I'd missed him.

I thought about work and the complications of work. I was sure that my mom would be the one to take over when she was ready because this was a family owned company. I was too young to own anything. I drove a hand through my hair, worrying about things that ought not to be worried about. The little things that mattered too much at the time.

I heard the doorbell ring and I got up to go open it. Abel was standing there. His eyes worried. His eyes tense. His jaw tensed. His stance tensed. He was tensed. I was tired. "Elize," he said.

"Abel," I said, throwing my arms around him and kissing him. His hands grabbed my waist as he responded. He smelled so good. I pulled him in and kicked the door shut as he pushed me back against it. His hands touching me everywhere. His lips kissing my everywhere. Me feeling everywhere, my love for him.

I felt broken. Shattered and broken but he was the temporary glue that held me together. So temporary but so fucking awesome. He kissed me, harder and harder until he broke away to breathe. "Elize," he murmured. I hugged him. I didn't want to talk or respond. I wanted to feel. I wanted him here because I needed him here. I needed his love and his touch and everything that he represented.

"What's wrong, girl?" He whispered. "Just hold me tight," I whispered back.

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I hope you like it. I wrote it in a frenzy and daze. I didn't want to stiff them up, you know????

So here it is. I might upload sooner than you'd think 'cause I'm loving a lot Abel right now (who isn't though)

Take Care.

x