Shattered

Chapter 54

Stayed up late to finish this because fuck work, you all deserve it.

An ounce of regret.

Some semblance of shame.

A pit of sadness.

That was what I felt the following morning.

When I woke up, the bedroom was still dark, but the curtains were open, bringing in some light from the city. I hardly remembered falling asleep on the chair, and now, I was on the bed, tucked into Chandler's chest. Glancing to his side table, I looked at the clock, seeing it was past five. Why was I even awake?

As much as I wanted to scoot away from Chandler and go back to sleep on my own side, possibly not even sleep on the bed at all, I refrained from doing so. He wasn't asleep, although his eyes were closed. His hand on my skin was constantly moving, down my thigh and up to my waist, so I knew he was awake, likely having pulled the shirt I wore up.

While I was mad at him and wanted to shove his hand away, I knew he wouldn't tolerate much from me today. I had to watch myself before he really did decide to punish me. There was still an escape plan to think about too. I couldn't afford failure.

When I shifted slightly, somewhat uncomfortable, I felt my hair fall around my face, the strands loose from the braid I had tied it in last night. He must have not liked it.

"Jess?" he called softly, shifting pieces of my hair away from my forehead, but my eyes were shut. I didn't react, my breathing even and movements stilled. Just a bit more sleep, then I'll deal with him.

He pulled his hand on my thigh away, using it to gently lift me off his chest and place my head on his pillow. Subconsciously, I inhaled deeply, his scent still strong. The sweater was pulled back down, and he stood from the bed, covering me with the blanket to my chest.

He was going to work today.

For once, he thought I was asleep when I wasn't, so I kept my eyes shut and stayed quiet, hoping I could keep it this way until he left. After, I'd go downstairs and sleep on the couch, I don't know, just not here.

But I was conflicted.

Because I wanted to ask about the girl before he left.

Deciding that I'd figure that out in a few minutes, when the room didn't feel like it was closing in around me, I listened as Chandler moved. I thought he'd go straight to the bathroom, like he always did when I happened to be awake to see it, but he didn't. He left the room instead.

My eyebrows scrunched together, and I lifted my head, surveying the empty room. Maybe he wanted breakfast first? Regardless, I dropped my head again, now between both of our pillows, so I could still smell myself and not drown in him, and shut my eyes. Sleep for a while, formulate a new plan later. There was an ache behind my temples that would worsen the longer I remained awake, the result of an overwhelming night.

Just as I was beginning to drift off, I heard Chandler again, approaching the side of the bed. He pulled the covers away, cold air prickling my legs. His fingers had barely grazed my ankle when I yanked my leg back hard. Pain shot all the way through it, my muscles still tight from last night, and the hurt rang strongest at my center. Even with my eyes shut, they weren't now, I knew what he was about to do.

"I listened to you," was what I said first, looking to him with red-rimmed eyes from all the crying last night. The chain was in one hand, the other clenched tight where my foot just was, and ever so slowly, he turned to stare at me with dead eyes.