Words better left unsaid

Opening up

"It's my fault," Steve said after a few hours of silence between him and Apollo. He looked up, sitting a little bit instead a of leaning into his boyfriend. Apollo blinked and tilted his head

"What is?"

"I shouldn't have freaked out without him, I just...he's the only one who knows so much about me. He knows about everything, yet...what do I even say? He's just gone," Steve mumbled. Apollo cupped his face, shushing him softly

"Steve, none of this is your fault," he murmured, they all in a way blamed themselves. Steve had no reason to think that way, DK had made the final call with Scar. Steve hadn't, he wouldn't have ever done that.

"All of this started when I argued with DK. When I pissed him off," Steve pointed out, while that was true. It wasn't. It's not like Steve had seen the future and decided to let DK die juts because he was angry.

"None of us could've known this would happen," Apollo said and tried to read what his boyfriend was thinking. It was difficult, not something normally easy but never this hard.

"He always knew what I was thinking. I should've listened when he apologized for bringing up Mimi. And known he would be stressed when I was caught by Cib, when his brother removed my memories,"

"Oh baby," he murmured and nuzzled him gently. Apollo felt bad, Steve blamed himself way more than what he could've

"Mimi died in an escape attempt with me from SP7, I held her as she stopped breathing. And Cib, I can hear him screaming at me for doing nothing. Because I had fucked something up even though it wasn't me," Apollo didn't know what to say, for the first time ever it felt like he truly understood Steve. He had never been told any of that, they all knew of the abuse from Cib but none of them had any clue of Mimi

Except DK

"I should've moved faster when I woke up. I saw them, staring each other down. DK looked...relieved when he nodded. Not upset, it wasn't a fight. The magic blast, it all happened so fast. I don't...why would he do it?" Steve finally asked. Apollo shook his head, Steve hadn't told anyone what had happened in the magic realm when DK died.

"Steve-"

"What if I was faster? What if I actually called his name instead of watching. I could've saved his life, his magic was glowing. He looked stressed but the relieved look...it scared me. He wanted to die,"

"I dont think he did. Maybe there's something we're missing here. Maybe his magic-"

"He would've waited for me, I think he wanted to die for a while. But, its whatever isn't it. It's too late tp change what happened now," Steve was talking, like Apollo didn't exist. Whatever was in his mind was what he was saying.

"No Steve, if he wanted to die, he would've used something none of us could've fixed. Not go out to his own brother," Steve could only nod while blaming himself