Her And Him (Completed)

I LOVE YOUR NICENESS!

Dedicated to the most genuine girl. Thankyou bombay99!

The cold blast of London caressed me as I stepped out of the airport. The taxi pulled up just as I had successfully resisted the crazy urge to break into a wild, vigorous dance of over excitement .Where California was home and induced in me a sense of calm , London was Where i had finally learnt to breathe.

I remembered the addictive feeling of freedom that I had felt when I first stepped out of the airport as a student.I had stood there, in my skinnies and shirt, feeling so small and so completely happy about it.

In this exciting city, I was just one more of the countless students, dreaming of freedom and happiness - and I was delighted about that fact. As much as i loved mom and dad, i was rapidly growing tired of their questioning look when i attempted to step out of home without letting them know where i was going.

And here? I could dye my hair purple with bubble gum pink streaks, wear a tutu, completed by a tiara, and run around singing the Hogwarts anthem and no one would know who the hell i was!

Those three years flashed before my eyes in the same way that a dying man was supposed to see his life's flashes. Was my subconscious trying to tell me something? I could only muse.

Those years of fun, friendship, partying, happiness, freedom, drinking and.... No. I could not allow myslf to dwell on that.

Not now. Not ever.

The black taxi pulled up in front of me, startling me out of my sad little introspection. I pulled my jacket tightly around me, almost excited enough to not care about the weird stares I was receiving. As a newly married Indian girl, I had to wear a flowy, shiny anarkali, and the stylish jacket was clashing horribly with it.

A dress! I should have worn a fvcking dress but no. No no no no... Im not so mainstream! Of course I have to listen to my mom going on about how I was supposed to wear a monkey suit, a mix of bright pink and red. The neon colors, I admit, did appeal to me but argh!!!!

In short, the whole ensemble would have made me laugh, had I seen someone else strutting around in it, and I was not at all proud that it was I who was being forced to walk around in it, successfully looking like a country girl. It didnt help that i took almost entirely after my mom and looked more indian than american.

To add to my embarrassment, an elderly lady with a beautiful smile walked up to me and started swooning over my "fascinating" tattoo art. I had to explain to her that no, I had indeed not tattooed my palm with swirly, pretty designs and that the mehendi was only a temporary thing. She asked me whether I felt sad thinking that such a pretty design would fade away in some time.

I had to bite back my emphatic no and settle upon a mild yes.

All the while, I could see Vidyut, to whom the lady had her back, fidgeting and getting annoyed. His jaw kept clenching and unclenching, and he kept staring at his watch.

To piss him off, I decided to compliment the lady on various nondescript items- her shoes, hair, smile, etc. I soon ran out of things to compliment her on, and decided to overkill by complimenting her on her kindness, sweetness and general niceness.

By the time I was done with my little one woman play, he looked like he wanted to hit something.

Score! I thought to myself, happy for the first time in days. I barely knew the man and the greatest pleasure of my life already was to get on his nerves!

I couldnt delay the inevitable any more and finally climbed into the taxi, sitting next to Vidyut. He looked deeply embarrassed with me and my awkward dressing and shitty complimenting skills , and this made me feel even more annoyed at him.

Here I was sitting next to him in a Bentley, looking like a product of a kinder gardeners first encounter with paint. I glanced at him. His tall frame was a little hunched over, as if his subconscious wanted to disassociate him with me.

Did the man wear a suit to go to sleep? I wondered as I glanced yet again at his charcoal black, well cut suit and white shirt.

I had to concede one thing to him. He was no boy. He was a man. Just not my type. I talked so much there were days when I gave myself a headache. I had always imagined my guy to talk almost as much as me. Viddy boy- man here would probably not even come second if the competition was between the both of us. Sigh.

I wished that his parents were there in this taxi as well. The awkwardness between us was already speaking volumes, and I didn't know how either of us could manage to sit in this stony silence for the entire duration of the taxi ride. However, they lived in a separate house, while I was to join Vidyut in his swanky apartment downtown.

The bloody bangles on my wrist were getting on my nerves. They created a ruckus every time I ran my hand through my hair, and I was simply not used to wearing so many elaborately decorated bangles.

I pushed the bangles higher up my hand, in the process, baring the tiny words that were tattooed to my left wrist. I fleetingly looked up at Vidyut, hoping against hope that he hadn't seen it. No such chance. He had glimpsed it.

I felt the burning, desperate sensation of having had somebody accidentally come across my deepest, darkest and most guarded secret. I could barely breathe, but I managed to keep a perfect poker face. Years of practice did help.

If he had known me well enough, he would have noticed the fear in my eyes. He could have smelt the fear, as i exhaled, excruciatingly slowly. I sat unmovingly, through the horrible thudding in my temples as i stared ahead, pretending to be beyond fascinated by the insides of the taxi.

All I could hope for now was that he could not read Hindi. I sneaked a glance at the hard set jaw and the confusion in his honey eyes confirmed it for me. I thanked the gods for this small mercy.

I would not have been able to answer his curious questions, and the fact that the awkwardness in our silence would have a new companion - pity. No, I didn't want any shit from anybody.

There were shadows in my life that I had almost lost myself to and I never intended to tell anyone about them-especially not this man. I didn't want his half hearted attempts to give a damn. I didn't even know how he would take it.

Ours was a plastic relationship , and I could never allow him to accompany me into my shadows. My loss was my strength, and those shadows were mine to fear. Those memories were mine to mourn.