Fire & Ice

thirtyeight

The final week of school came with a force of a hurricane. It was hard enough to get through all of my finals this week, then I had to worry about moving out and making sure all of my hockey arrangements were in order. But finally, the end of the week came and all of my bags were packed and ready for my flight home.

As we made it though the week, I spent some time at the hockey house and spent a lot of extra time with Toni. After graduating, Toni is moving back home to Connecticut take a job at a marketing firm. She also already has a few coaching jobs lined up as well. On her last day on campus we got lunch together and she got a phone call. At first she wasn't going to answer it but second guessed herself and took the call, thinking it was her new job. Turns out we were both wrong. It was actually a phone call from the coach of the USA women's national hockey team calling to inform her that there is an open try out for select post graduate women they wanted her to attend. We both sat there in shock for a few minutes before Toni burst into tears.

When Toni collected herself she also received all of the information through an email and we went over it together. The national team is calling and I couldn't have been prouder and more excited for my friend. Our lunch lasted a little bit longer and then we said goodbye. Even though we are close in geography, I know it will be a while before I see Toni in person again. So the last hug we had together we clung onto each other a little bit longer to savor the moment. The tears only came after I started walking back to my dorm.

Saying goodbye to my girls Becca and Stacey wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. Becca is returning to Maine while Stacey has a long drive ahead of her back to St. Cloud Minnesota. Becca and I already have our flight's book to be back in Wisconsin the second week of August so we can get the house up and running and get back into form. And along with that flight, I even convinced the two of them to come down to Boston for the fourth of July. I wanted to throw a big house warming party once we get home but thought to push it till the 4th to make is special.

But I think the hardest goodbye I made this week was with Cassie. After we leave school the first time I'll see her again in person is in the middle of June when I fly out to see her for ten days. Then she will be coming to Boston for the 4th of July party and will be staying for a two weeks.

Our last day came and it was hard for the both of us. These past 8 month spent living with each other has honestly been the best and most stable time of my life. Saying goodbye, even just for now, didn't come without a bucket of tears and a lot of kisses and promises to facetime while we are apart.

I left campus first to make my flight with Travis. We both booked the same flight home and I was happy to have my buddy with me. But having to load my bags into the back of a waiting uber and saying goodbye to my girl on the sidewalk, felt like I was ripping my heart out and leaving it here with her. I only pulled away from our hug because Travis pulled into the waiting uber so we didn't miss the flight.

When we arrived home, Malcolm and Alyssa were waiting for us in baggage claim. Even though mom wanted to come pick me up, she had an appointment with Doctor Gamble and I insisted she not cancel it. Since I came home for spring break, mom has had regular appointments with Doctor Gamble and I think that things are looking up. After taking three weeks off after the initial shock of PJ dying and dealing with all the repressed trauma from her years married to him, mom is back at work and her appointments with Doctor Gamble are now every two weeks instead of twice a week.

Alyssa and I talked about it on our way back home. I wanted her unbiased opinion and Alyssa didn't hold back. From what she told me, Mom has been having less nightmares and seems more upbeat then Alyssa has seen her in a long time. The nights that she does have them, they haven't been as severe. After staying awake for a little while to work through the panic, she has been able to go back to sleep. It put me a bit more at ease by the time we got home.