CANCER - From the Outside Looking in

THE DIAGNOSIS - Chapter 5

I got to the hospital at about 8:30am. Steven was lying in his bed facing the door. I walked over, leaned down and kissed him hello.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I asked.

"Okay!" he replied. "Just sore and I still don't understand why they made such a big cut."

"I don't either. Have you been out of bed yet?" I asked.

"No. The sister says that I am not allowed to get out of bed yet; she will tell me when I can get up. I am also not allowed to eat solid food so this morning I was given three glasses of juice for breakfast."

I wanted to laugh. Steven did not like juice on the best of days now he had no choice but to drink it because that was all he was getting.

"That's not nice." I told him. "How long are you going to be on this juice diet?"

"I don't know but right now I couldn't stomach food if I wanted to."

We chatted for a while and then I told him I was going to go.

"I will come back this afternoon to see you but I'm going to fetch the boys first and bring them with so they can also see you for a while."

"That's fine. Then I will see you later."

I leaned over gave him a kiss good-bye and walked out.

               ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

When I arrived at the office I greeted Sean, made myself a cup of coffee and phoned the office of my psychologist. I had been to therapy before to help me try and cope with my depression and the stress I had to endure during my marriage.

"I would like to make an appointment with Louise for my children." I told the receptionist when she answered the phone.

"I'm sorry Ma'am she is fully booked. I can only make an appointment for you in January."

"That won't help." I said. "I have just found out that my husband has cancer. He could be dead by January. I need my boys in therapy as soon as possible to help them cope with this. Please can you pass this message on to Louise and ask her to give me a call."

"Sure Ma'am, I'll do that."

"Thank-you. Bye." I said and hung up the phone.

I had no option but to wait for Louise to call and hope that she would be able to make a plan for the boys. They would need this therapy because I did not know how to handle whatever it was that they were going to go through. I had never had to deal with something as serious as this. It would be better for a professional to be there to help them and to guide me with what I needed to do for them.

Later that afternoon Louise phoned.

"Hello Ingrid." She said. "How are you keeping?"

"I'm okay." I replied.

"I got your message. I believe Steven has cancer."

"Yes." I said. "We found out on Friday. He had the biopsy yesterday and the doctor said that the prognosis isn't good. That's why I don;t want to wait until January to put the boys in therapy. I honestly don't know how long he's got."

"I agree." She said. "The sooner we can start their therapy the better off they will be in the long run."

"That's what I was thinking. I have told the boys that their father is very sick and could possibly die. I need them to be helped through this. I don't want them to try and deal with it when it's all over. I want them to be helped every step of the way so that it doesn't become too big an issue and they crack."