Beautiful (Completed!)

Beautiful (Warning: Chapter contains some intense content)

I go back to the kitchen to watch my baking. I can't get that box that's now sitting there 'staring' at me out of my mind. The timer dings and I'm brought back to reality.

As I set the goodies out to cool, my mind wanders back to my day. It hits me like a weight and makes it hard to breath. I wish I had someone to turn to in times like this. When I feel like there is a World War going on in side of my head.

Suddenly my eyes catch sight of the box. Maybe just a peek. I reach down and grab a random slip of paper, pulling it out. Taking it and a hot brookie with me to my room.

"Kristen. You are NOT ugly. You are so beautiful. You wanna know why? God made you! And He doesn't make mistakes. You are a true treasure.
Now go listen to song #1 on the CD I gave you. It's a song called Beautiful (just like you), by the George Twins. Put it on replay. Get those words in your mind."

Suddenly the room feels funny. I didn't see this coming. I reread the words, and they didn't change or vanish from the paper. I grab my portable CD player (yes, "ancient" I know) and slip the CD in, clicking the Repeat button.

A song starts spilling through my headphones and I find myself intently to the words these guys are singing.

At the mention of the word mirror in the song, my eyes shoot to my own bedroom mirror, and I notice that somehow the sheet has slipped even more. Revealing yet another reason I keep it covered. The utter brokenness of the mirror.

I remember the day very clearly when I came home from a rough day at school. I was feeling really low and was home alone again. That day when I looked in the mirror I felt a deep feeling of hatred well up in me. Not for my teachers, parents, or fellow students. But For myself. How unfit of a daughter I was. And every other insecurity. Including my face. So I did something drastic. I slammed my fist into the glass. It shattered in the upper left hand corner. Realizing what I had done I cleaned up the mess. I looked down at my bloody hand, debating whether to clean it up or not. The house phone rang, it was my grandpa and he asked how his favorite girl was doing. Something inside me cracked open a little bit, shining light into my heart's darkness. I looked at my hand, at then decided to clean it up.

My mind whirls back from the flashback, still reeling as the same song continues playing. How broken I feel.

*The Next Day at school*

I can't get that song out of my mind no matter how hard I try. I head to the bathroom after my first class of the day, but stop just as I enter the door. Why? Because there is someone sobbing.

I step around the corner and spot her. She is hunched against the wall, her knees to her chest, brown hair covering her face, as her shoulders shake.

'You should leave!' A voice in the back of my mind screams at me. 'She doesn't want to be bothered!'

Then the song Beautiful goes through my head. I ignore the screaming voice, and step forward. "Hi. I'm Kirsten. Can I have a seat?"

She lifts her head quickly, a surprised look in her eyes. Her face is red from her heavy crying, but not unrecognizable. "I guess." She answers my question, staring at her shoes. "I'm Heather."

"I know." I say. Then silence passes between us. "What's wrong?" I find myself asking.

She looks at me. As if sizing me up to see if I really care. And surprisingly to myself, I actually do. Then she answers, "I was having a good day earlier. Then we had to weigh in at gym class."

More tears slip down her cheeks, and I find myself rubbing her back. "It's okay." I murmur.

"I know that I've gained quite a bit over the winter. And I want to exercise and eat healthy, but no one really backs me up on it for very long." She pauses for a breath. Then she can't seem to find more words, when she does they barrel out of her. "I look in the mirror. And sometimes I just feel so worthless. Like a failure for letting myself get so out of shape."

"Have you listened to this before?" I grab my phone, and before I know it "Beautiful" is filling the air.

We both listen quietly and when it finishes, Heather is wiping her tears. "Thank you, Kristen. I needed that." We both stand and hug just before the first bell rings. Heather seems more confident. "I'm going to get healthy. The right way." She smiles then adds that she'll she me around later.

I told Heather I would be there for her. That even if she has weaknesses she doesn't have to give into them. I think my own words just hit me.

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Author's Note

Hi there lovelies. I won't say much cause I don't want to take from the story, but I do want to say this. If you ever feel like you alone or unloved you are not. Your weaknesses are strong, but there's Someone whose stronger. God is there for you. He knows what you're going through. And He wants to be right there in it with you, helping, loving, and showing you the way if you will only let him.
God bless!
GodGirl91 aka Elizabella Tanson