Beautiful (Completed!)

Circles

With everything from the last couple of days since the box still rolling around in my mind, I woke to a heavy feeling in my chest. I wanted to smile, I really did, but sometimes it was too just hard to do.

I shower and get dressed and just as I'm about to head out of my bedroom, I spot the box. It's sitting there, it's open lid flaps feel like open arms. I walk over, reaching inside I pull out a slip of paper. The odd thought crosses my mind that this handwriting looks different, but I shake it off. Just my imagination.

The paper reads,

"No matter what hard balls life may throw at you, you are never alone. Don't forget that. There's always Someone who is willing to help and lift you up, when you aren't strong."

The corresponding song to this note that grabbed my heart, and left me a bit confused was something called, "Circles" by a group that I'd not heard of before. Anthem Lights or something of the sort.

Ready, set, go

This is take 37, let it roll

I'm gonna get it right this time

Gonna fight this time

This time I'm for real

Look at me go

I'm off, flying straight as an arrow

Then I feel the wind blowin', gravity sets in

And I don't know how to deal

I always start so strong...

Before you even know it

I'm right back at the start

Doing what I hate

And breaking my own heart

I'm going back and forth

And forth and back

And then round in circles

I was never meant to travel on my own

So no matter what I try, I'm trying alone

I'm going back and forth

And forth and then back

And then round in circles

(Round, round, round, round)

Round in circles

(Round, round, round, round)

Round in circles

Here's what I know

Direction goes out the window

The second that I hear Your word

I forget what I heard and go on just the same

(Go on just the same)

But the beautiful part: it doesn't have to be this hard

I'm just deceiving myself

I know I need Your help

Something's got to change

I know I need a change, because...

Before you even know it

I'm right back at the start

Doing what I hate

And breaking my own heart

I'm going back and forth

And forth and back

And then round in circles

I was never meant to travel on my own

So no matter what I try, I'm trying alone

I'm going back and forth

And forth and back

And then round in circles

No more insanity

I'm letting go of me

All this independence has made me dizzy

And now I can't see where I'm supposed to be

I had my turn and now my lesson's learned

I touched the fire and I got burned

I need Your healing touch

I've had enough

I'm tired of saying

Before you even know it

I'm right back at the start

(Tired of saying, yeah)

Doing what I hate

And breaking my own heart

I'm going back and forth

(Back and forth)

And forth and back

(Forth and back)

And then round in circles

(Round in circles)

I was never meant to travel on my own

(Not on my own)

So no matter what I try if I'm trying alone

(Trying alone, woah)

I'm going back and forth

And forth and back

And then round in circles

(Round in circles)

As the song ended I felt funny inside. I didn't fully understand some parts of the songs, but it sure did explain me lately. I leave for school and somehow manage to get there before any one else. Well most of the students anyways.

I hear the distinct sound of an acoustic guitar in the distance. From the band room maybe? I follow the sound, to find a girl sitting in a chair carefully holding an acoustic guitar in her lap.

I stumble backwards bumping into the door as I realize what song she is playing. The song about going in circles from the cd. When I stumble she looks up, offering me a weak smile. "Sorry, that probably wasn't all that great. I keep making these stupid 'thunk' noises."

"Are you kidding me? That was great." The words flow from me. I'm surprised I'm talking this openly. "I'm Kristin."

"Ellyn." She smiles at me, and I feel like I may have just made a new friend. Something I'm not exactly used to.

We sit and talk until the school bell rings and I'm surprised at all the things we discuss. We are both going through so many things the same. She tells me what the song Circles means to her, and it hits me deep in my heart.

Maybe it's time for me to take flight and leave these circles behind. And maybe... just maybe. I'm not really alone.