If Only You Knew

VII. Chance

Xzavier and I left shortly after. His parents stayed and finished their meals and Xzavier and I went back to campus. Another Uber ride.
   His roommate was out with friends so Xzavier invited me to their dorm room. I accepted. Just for the fact that I could only handle so much of Anthony's smart remarks and jokes.

We sat in silence. I got somewhat comfortable on the floor while he sat on his bed.
'You alright mate?' He asked. His eyebrow raised. He seemed bothered.
I laughed slightly and forced a smile, 'Yeah I'm good, man.' It felt weird saying—calling—him man. I was fine for the most part. I didn't even know why I acted the way I did at dinner. My face went warm everytime I thought about it.

'Are you sure? What happened back there?' He sheepishly smiled at me. I could tell he was uncomfortable. Not a good start. Not a good look on my end. Part of me was still worried about upholding the family name. I was a Sheffield, and I didn't need to bring any negativity to its name.
'I'm sure,' I grinned, 'Let's just forget about that, okay?' I tried to divert his attention away from what happened, because I didn't even know what to say about it.
   I never had anything like that happen..

'Okay.' He murmured slightly. We sat there for a moment. Total silence.
'So how are you liking college?' He finally spoke.
'I like it so far. My roommate is a pain in the ass though.' I shrugged. I felt good to finally get that off of my chest.
'Oh yeah? Mine isn't so bad. He's pretty cool actually.' He laughed.
    I shook my head slightly and smiled, 'You wanna trade?'
'Hell naw, Mate! I was afraid of ending up with someone annoying.'

We laughed for a moment before it slowly faded out.
'So, Xzavier,' I broke the silence again.
He looked over at me, eyebrows raised. Giving me his full attention.
'So,' I paused for a moment before speaking again, 'you haven't told me much about your family. Or yourself. Or anything really.'

He look down at his feet and then up at the ceiling, 'I guess I haven't, huh? Well,' he began, 'I'm Xzavier Collins, I am from Michigan. Same as you,' he smiled, 'Uh, I have two older brothers, Michael and David. I was an honor student in Highschool.' He stopped and took a deep breath. I could see some struggle in his eyes. Some debating.
'I grew up relatively poor. I didn't have much. My father worked twelve plus hour shifts for little pay. We ate a lot of eggs and biscuits.' He paused for a moment again...

I changed positions and crossed my legs, propping my elbows on the sides of my knees.
'I was lucky to make it to Stanford, honestly. A year ago my parents got that new job and made a lot more money than before. Like I said earlier, they're helping with tuition and all. Um...' he stammered. His lips and tongue searching for the right words to say. It was as if he didn't want to sound bad in front of me or something.
'There really isn't much to me.' He laughed sheepishly. I smiled and managed to stand to my feet.
'Well, Xzavier Col-lins,' I smirked, 'I'm glad things ended up working out for you. Did you have any friends back in Michigan?'
He nods, 'Three actually. Sarah, Jeremy and Chad. We've been friends since elementary school.'
'Oh dang. Are they going to college?' I wanted to know. My friends all went to community colleges near their homes.
He pursued his lips slightly and nodded again, 'Sarah did. She wants to be a teacher, so she went to Yale.' He smiled as he said her name. I raised an eyebrow. His face reddened slightly as he put a bit of emphasis on it.

I wonder, was she someone special to him?
I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to over step boundaries.
'She will make a great teacher, ya know? She's very smart and—'
'Do you like her?' I blurted out.
His eyes cut to me and his face flushes. He began to pick at his fingers and stutter as he struggled to find words.
He finally sighed and shook his head, 'No!' He laughed. 'Not at all. I actually am not really into girls like that.'