Last Encounter [SEQUEL-COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 22

You know the feeling you have this emptiness that you keep convincing yourself that it was filled? Do you ever felt sometjing so near yet so far. Meron bang pagkakataon na minsan mo ng hinihiling na sana ay mamatay ka nalang keysa bumangon sa umaga dahil natatakot ka, naduduwag kang humarap sa sikat ng araw, nababahag ang buntot mo na huminga dahil wala na, dahil hindi mona kaya.

That's the thing i felt right now. I want to seek for help but all their do was to mock my feelings. That it was all okay.

I hate seeing my dad smiling everyday as I and Daphney sharing the same dining, I and Daphney talking and we're in good terms after all my angst against it. I dont think that's the responsibility of parents.

Sabi ni mama lahat daw kami mag responsibilidad, pero responsibilidad ba ni papang saktan ako ng ganito at unahin ang sarili nya? Responsibilidad nya bang ipilit ang bagay na hindi naan talaga pupuwede at kung sasabihin ko yung side ko lagi nyang dahilan ay Ama ko sya ako ay anak lang.

What a bullshit!

The house, my dad, Daphney whom I think isnt with her sanity, my study... Alana...

Damn this fucking life.

"Hindi nga po nya kami sinasagot madame, kanina pa po, nakakarinig kami ng mga basag na salamin at mga bagay na kumakalambog sa pader po nya!" I heard a maid once said behinf my bedroom door.

I am so tired on compose myself to even look at the door I am just bowing my head on my knuckled that is now swollen, red and wounded. I felt mt breath hitch but unlike before I ignore it. I dont care if I die lile this anyway what's use of inhailer.

All I heard was a loud bang on my door and a shout came from my mother, she is worried. I felt stupid looking like this, I felt guilty everytime mom looks so suffered and struggle but damn I cant pretend all the time my smile can faden my facade but deep within me I felt nothing but a depth where I locked in myself.

"Oh my god! David open this! Come on naman anak!"

Hindi ako lumingon at hindi rin naman ako makapagptoseso sa mga sinasabi nila ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay tumunganga sa kamao ko hanggang sa may humawak dito.

"David..."

I stilled and like my senses coming back in pieces I shook my head. I saw her worried face and innocent and fragile look.

"Ana?"

"Please... Be safe, dont look for me, hmm?"

"What?!" mabilis kong hinuli ang kamay nya ngunit ang nahawakn ko ay hindi sya.

My vision vivid and it was my mom who is holding me now, my mom who is looking so aged because of worryness and anxious. Her tears fell right through her cheeks as she ogled me completely.

"A-anak... Naman" umupo sya sa harap ko at parang nanghihina, "Sya ba? Si Ana ba yung babae? Please baby... Stop hurting yourself please?"

Ano bang alam nila?

"David, nasasaktan ako kapag nakikita kitang ganyan... Didnt I always remind you? Love when you are ready when you can fight not by being alone and needed love from someone else kasi obligasyon yun ng pamilya ang mapanatiling mahal ka at masaya..."

Hindi nila maintindihan...

"M-ma, pagod na ako"

"No!" sunod sunod ng nagsilandasan ang mga luha nya at mahigpit na hinawakan ang kamay ko at ang pisngi, "W-wag na wag mong sasabihin yan! Please naman Davidson!"

Umiling nalang ako at pinawi ang luhang nanatili sa pisngi ko at ngumiti sakanya.

"I am okay mom, I am fine..."