Mind Full of Roses // Peter Parker

12: Dear Peter

Sleep hasn't come easy so far and tonight is no different. I've lost count of the amount of times I've shifted my position. The mattress squeaks with each movement, making it sound as though there is a mouse infestation.

The wind whistling through the trees outside doesn't help me settle either. The tattered curtains wave from the slightly open window. I've tried to close it multiple times but it seems to be stuck from not being used for ages.

I yawn as I sit up. Who needs sleep anyway? The yellow walls create a eerie glow and I use it to reach for my phone on the night stand. Scrolling past each of my many, many contacts and stop when I get to Peters name.

I need to hear someone's voice. I press call. I let it ring for a few seconds before bringing it down to turn it off. Who am I kidding; he's probably asleep, it's like one in the morning on a Tuesday.

Before I press the red button, a faint voice rings out and I quickly bring it back up to my ear.

"Roselyn?" His voice brings a smile to my face and I rest my chin on my fist to try and hide it. His voice is just how I remember it; warm and slightly prone to voice cracks. He didn't sound as tired as I thought he'd be, in fact he seems rather awake as though he hasn't slept at all.

"Hey, Pete." I say back to him. My voice seems unusually happy and I frown at the change.

"Hey! Rose!" He exclaims. "You don't mind do you? Rose?"

I shake my head before realising that he couldn't see me. "No, course not. As long as I can call you Pete?"

"Yeah!"

There's a slight bit of silence, but it's not awkward as though we both grappling for something to say. Instead it's a comfortable silence. Just bathing in each others company. Bathing in the fact that I have a friend.

That is until I hear a siren in the background. My eyebrows furrow and I try to make sense of what I just heard.

"Peter. Why was there a siren?" I ask him and he stutters a reply, not nearly enough to calm me. "Where are you?"

"I'm- um, there's a-" He mumbles as he tries to think of something to say. "Why are you calling?"

"Peter!" He did not just turn this on me. To be honest, I don't know why I'm calling. Though I don't really want to tell him that.

"What?" He coughs to try and cover up another siren. "I'm just gonna put you on hold for a second, ok?" His voice is muffled as though he's put something in front of his mouth and a second later my phone beeps as he pauses the call.

"What the fuck?" I mutter to myself as I wait for him to return.

When he does, he sounds breathless and winces a couple of times. "Hey..."

"Where are you? What did you do?"

He scoffs jokingly. "You're not even going to ask if I'm ok?"

I shake my head furiously. "No. No I'm not!"

He lets out a breathy laugh. "I should be offended."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself as I feel energy prickle my fingertips. "Peter, what the hell just happened? You can't fucking leave after what sounded like a damn car chase and then come back ten minutes later acting as though nothing happened!"

His voice turns serious and rather quiet. I have to turn my volume up to hear him. "I can't tell you."

"What?" Confusion laces my voice. Why am I being so nosey? He doesn't have to tell me everything.

But I'd like him too. I want him to feel like he can trust me and right now it doesn't seem like he does.

"I'm sorry." He whispers and I nod, squeezing my eyes shut before replying.

"It's ok. Just stay safe," I hesitate before adding something, "Pete."

•𑁍•

We said goodbye soon after that. My eyes are starting to drool but my brain doesn't let them fully close. I'm too worried about Peter. He sounds as though he has things sorted but I can't help but worry. What happens if it was Dreykov? Natasha said that Tony Stark was watching him but I don't fully trust his judgment. Anyway, it would be my fault if anything happened to him.

I rest my head on the cold pillow and absentmindedly fiddle with a piece of energy between my hands. The action brings a glow that bathes the entire room red. It reminds me of the Experiment and I quickly stop, trying to keep the breakdowns to a minimum. Though, that hasn't exactly been working so far.

I rub my forehead and get out of bed to go pee. As I tiptoe along the small corridor, I see Natasha's light creeping out from under her door. Faint sniffles float out with it and I hover my hand over the door, not sure if knocking is the right thing to do.

Quickly deciding, I tap my bruised knuckles on the wood and another sniffle is heard before a thick "Come in".

I slowly open the door to find the fiery redhead sat on her floor, back resting on the single bed. She gives me a strained smile and taps the floor next to her. I cautiously make my way towards her and slowly bring myself down.

"What's wrong?" She asks me. I scan her face and look at her puffy, green eyes. What was she hiding behind them?

I give a shy smile. "Well, I came in here to ask you the same thing."

She sighs softly and throws her head onto the bed cover. "You here everything, don't you?"

I shrug and stare at the peeling wall in front of us. I stare and stare, waiting for her to talk to me.

"I came from the Red Room as well you know. Probably started a couple of years younger than you are now." Natasha almost whispers, her strong demeanour came crumbling down in a matter of words. "Didn't know what it was at the time, only knew that it wasn't a place I wanted to be at. My first mission started of normal, I almost believed that the whole thing was a dream. That's where I met Yelena. She was posing as my sister and I couldn't get rid of her." She laughs slightly, and I let out a small smile. "Then after a couple of years they brought us back in. Shooting the woman that I thought of as my ma. The man that was my father left us as soon as the plain landed. After that, I never saw any of them again. Instead I was forced to train, being brainwashed into believing that I was the good person. And that Clint was the villain."

"Clint?" I gently prise.

"He saved me. Thought he saw something good in me and brought me out of the hole that I was in. Stopped me from adding more red to my ledger."

I nod, digesting what she means. Even though we were brainwashed into doing all the things that we did, it was still us. Our faces were still the last ones that they saw. Each and every one of the haunts me.

"I remember all of them." I say to her, quiet enough as to not ruin the mood but loud so she can still hear me.

I turn to look at Natasha and she glanced over at me. I quickly bring her in for a hug and she stiffly accepts. A small smile makes its way onto my face, it's better than nothing.

————————————————————————
AN: Hola

The besties are bonding and I'm trying not to think about Endgame (sorry). Just enjoy this while it lasts.

THEY HAVE NICKNAMES!!! And can you see where the title is brought in??
Roselyn = Rose = Mind Full of ROSES = thinking of Rose = thinking of Roselyn 😏 it all comes together in the end.

I've been thinking about their ship name and I have come up with... drumroll please.... ROSER (Idk how I feel about it tbh)

Hold y'all have a good day/night and I'll see you in the next one

BU BYEEEE
- Jess