Mind Full of Roses // Peter Parker

4.1: Stay In my Memories

A girl comes running up to two women, laughing as they tighten her woollen scarf against the frosty winter air. Christmas lights flicker and blink on each house they pass and light from the street lamps up above flood the pavements with their warm glow. The small girl swings on the two women's arms as they make their way down a pebble path and into a cozy kitchen, stomping snow from their large boots and rubbing their hands together beneath thick pairs of mittens.

"Come on, Trouble," one of the women bend down to the girl's height and tweaks her frost-bitten nose. "Santa's coming tonight."

The girl squeals in excitement and runs off to grab a small plate from the side of the kitchen. A small carrot rolls around on the snowflake-rimmed dish, banging into a powdery mince pie as she slowly makes her way over to the fireplace, tongue stuck out in concentration.

Once the plate has been placed in a way that the girl finds acceptable, she jumps up and dusts off her special white tights weaved with threads of shimmer to go and collect her fur-trimmed stocking from the other woman, hanging it just below a picture on the mantelpiece captioned: 'Roselyn's first day of nursery!'

The girl steps back and looks upon her decorations proudly, her smile growing when the two women come forward to wrap their arms around her, stroking her hair and kissing her head.

The family stay standing, even as the image ripples and contorts around them. They never notice the changes, not in the past 247 memories that I've watched. At least, that's what I think they are. Memories from my past that have been buried under all of the rubble from the present.

The image finally fades and I feel myself float away again, the tether that attached me to the previous one breaking and reattaching to the new one. Yet, as I look around at the new world, there's only black.

A figure appears in the distance. I squint my eyes to try and distinguish is as it grows larger and larger, closer and closer.

"Rosie," the voice says. Another figure appears next to it. I can just make out a pair of clasped hands and a golden necklace shining from the gloom.

They finally take a step out of the darkness. Ma and Mum. Their faces look the same to the other hundred versions I've seen, yet these ones carry the scar of time on their faces, an odd wrinkle that the ones trapped in time didn't. These ones are real.

"Mum?" I ask but my voice betrays me, breaking before I can finish the word. The woman with blonde hair nods with a smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Ma?" The woman with hair similar to mine holds out her arms and I don't hesitate to run into them.

As soon as her arms wrap around me, I feel my walls crumble. All of the defences I have built and the dams crack, letting out a tsunami of nine years worth of emotion. I feel Mum's arms join Ma's in their protective bubble around me.

Mum's hand finds my hair and strokes it with the tenderness of a mother, tutting and shushing as I cry into their chests.

I pull back and wipe my nose and eyes, tears blurring my vision. "How did... is this real?"

Ma smiles down at me. "My little Rosie. You're Mum and I are so proud of you and everything you've accomplished."

Ma nods and tweaks my nose. "That boy treating you right?"

I laugh thickly and nod. "How do you know?"

"We never left you, Roselyn. Never." Ma's face grows serious. "But you need to let us go."

"What?"

Mum's smiles down at me, pride clear in her eyes. "You can't do what needs to be done if you're holding onto us. You need all of your strength and we're a weakness. We're only stopping you from being at your full potential."

I shake my head and step back. "I don't understand."

Ma looks at Mum and words seem to pass between their eyes, a conversation I'll never hear. "We've been with you every step of the way, but this journey is over. It's time for us to leave."

I shake my head. I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. "But-"

Mum smiles sadly at me. "Rosie. It's time."

"Will I ever see you again?"

Ma leans forward and pinched a strand of hair between her fingers. "Just because you're out there saving the world doesn't mean you can't get a haircut." She tucks it behind my ear before pulling me into a hug. "Look after yourself, okay? I love you."

"I love you too." My voice breaks again and I have to press my fingers against my eyes to stop the tears from falling.

Mum pressed a hand against my cheek and her eyes flitter over my face. "When did my little girl get so beautiful?" She presses her forehead against mine. "Tell Yelena we say 'thank you', okay? I want her to know how much she means to your Ma and I."

"I will."

They pull away and take a step back, never once taking their eyes away from my face. "We love you baby, now it's time to wake up."

•𑁍•

My eyes fly open. The white room spins around me as I try to sit up. Machines beep around me, information flicking quickly on the screens. I brace my hands on the side of the cotton sheeted bed but a small stinging sensation makes me stop. I look down and find a needle stuck in the back of my hand, a wire feeding out of it and leading to a drip hanging on a metal hanger. I peel back the plaster and pull it out, a small bead of blood swelling up from where the needle was, an alarm suddenly starting to sound. I wipe the blood on a pair of white trousers and tunic that I don't recognise and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

The tiled floor bites with a freezing cold on my bare feet as I slowly push myself up. I swallow back a wave of nausea and grab onto a tray with wheels on the bottom of each leg. Bad idea. The tray slides from under my hand, making me fall to the ground in an undignified heap. The loud clatter of items falling from the tray create a ringing in my head, followed by a pounding that won't go away.

"Come on," I mutter to myself and am immediately shocked by the voice. My voice. I hardly recognise the gravelly timbre that has replaced my normal voice.

I grab back onto the side of the bed and try to pull myself back up. Tears of frustration follow as I keep falling back down. "Come on!" I shout.

As I say it, the pillow that I'm touching explodes in a flurry of feathers and red dust. The loud noise attracts footsteps that pound on the floor outside of the room, voices whispering furiously as they get closer and closer. I let go of the bed and shuffle back until my back hits a wall, making my head pulse from the sudden impact.

The door flies open and in walks Steve Rodgers, followed by Natasha. Nat. She's here? Why is she here? What's going on?

My heart tries to make me run out to her but something keeps me rooted to the floor, hidden by the now silent machines.

"Where is she?" Natasha asks, her red and blonde plait whipping through the air as she quickly looks around the room for me.

My foot twitches and before I can stop it, the machine in front of me rolls forward slightly, my hiding place now in plain sight.

Steve Rodgers catches my eye. "Glad to see you're awake, miss."