That Guy on TV

Mark's Thoughts

Am I trying too hard to keep this love alive

You don't seem to care about this love that we have

I called you last night but you were not there

I didn't hear from you at all today

I can't play this game

I'm just wasting my time

You leave me with no other choice

But to say goodbye

I want to work things out

But what's the point of it if

I have to be in love alone

It's not worth it anymore

It's hard for me to say goodbye

But tears are falling down from my eyes

I'm sorry, I'm sorry but we tried

I thought we shared a life that's full of love

But now I realize we shared an empty home

I will cry my last cry before I say bye, bye

I will sing my last love song for you tonight

This song exactly describes what I'm feeling today.

Several months have passed but it's still clear to me what happened that very day. Jess and I were happy to finally meet again for years but I didn't know that behind that happiness is a shadow of melancholy that slowly crept in.

Yeah, you guessed it right! She told me that we should forget all the romantic feelings that we have for each other and that we can remain FRIENDS. Tss, that sounded crap. Right? How can I forget everything? All the time that I shared with her even though we're far apart became useless to her. Heaven knows how much I wanted to quit my life in Korea just to go back home but she insisted that I stay to savor my hardwork and to make my family proud. Then, now what?

Maybe I got it now. That distance that connected us is also the same distance that separated us. I can now remember all the sadness in her SNS posts and how she gets her strength from her family, friends and even from my brother Joey. That there are times she wanna give up and leave all the stress behind. I thought I could talk her into this but I failed. I tried and tried til I almost have no time for her due to GOT7's promotions here and there.

I know that I'm not the only one hurting but it's clear that I should also say goodbye and let go.

If only I could turn back time...

My weather forecast: Rain drops will keep on falling and nothing can stop it but the sunshine. JB's song is very sad and I feel like crying. :'(

P.S. I'm not gay, I just can't hold my feelings anymore.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Sorry for this very short update, I'm not on hiatus yet though. I'll try to write a longer chapter to make it up to you.

Kamsahamnida~

credits to GOT7 KL for the vid.