His Chance

Chance - Chapter 17

I'm standing on the balcony and looking out at the city lights. It's good to be home. Well, I love being home but I sure wish that London had been more welcoming to my girl. I honestly don't know how it could have gone any worse. I'm sick about the way that things unfolded today. I'm worried that she's already regretting that she married me. She said that she wanted to be alone and didn't want to talk to me. I hope that I made the right decision when I called Drew and asked him to have Grace call her.  I vowed only two days ago to make her laugh more than I make her cry and I'm already fucking that up. I've got to do better than this.  I've got to figure out a way to.......I, uh, I feel her arms wrap around me as she walks up behind me and kisses the side of my neck and whispers in my ear that she's sorry. Oh, thank you God, I say to myself as I lift her hand to my lips and kiss it and then place it over my heart. We stand like this for a few minutes and then I turn around to look at her as I place my hands on both sides of her face and tilt her head up so she's looking into my eyes.

"I'm the one who's sorry Hailey.  This is the last thing that I wanted to have happen. I want you to love London like I do. I'm so sorry that my past is ruining it for you". 

"Well, I really could have done without seeing Lorna and Kara today but the thing that Grace reminded me about is that those women are your past.  I'm your future and that's what I need to focus on".

"You are my future Hailey.....and I'm excited about my future, our future baby", I tell her and then I kiss her on the lips and hold her in my arms. We look out over the city lights for a bit and then I take her inside and lay her down on the bed and make love to her as though I need that connection to breathe because it's true, I absolutely do.

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She's lying next to me in this bed and her back side is up against my front and she's asleep. I can tell because she's snoring just the tiniest little bit and it's absolutely adorable.  I slide out  of bed, trying my best not to wake her and I am successful. I pull on my boxers and walk over to the mini fridge and grab myself a bottle of water. I need to get some rest because tomorrow is going to be a very busy day for me but I'm too anxious to sleep. I have a press conference at 9:30 am and then I'll be heading to our practice facility to rejoin my club. I had originally intended on bringing Hailey with me to the press conference but now I'm second guessing that. I really don't want a repeat of what happened today. She has been so understanding but it's not fair to have my past rubbed in her face like that. I guess I'll just ask her whether she wants to come with me and let her decide. I use the toilet and then look at a few things on my phone before I crawl back into bed. She's still asleep so I just watch her for awhile. It is still so hard for me to believe that this beautiful girl is my wife. I snuggle up next to her and before too long fall back to sleep myself.

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My alarm goes off at 6:30 am and it wakes us both.

"Good morning beautiful", I tell her, as I pull her closer and hold her in my arms.

"Morning baby", she says, "how did you sleep?".

"I was up for awhile last night, I think I might be a little anxious about today", I answer.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby. I slept great", she says and I can't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?", she asks me.

"Well, I know that you got a good night's sleep baby because you were snoring", I tell her as I kiss her on the tip of her nose. She's mortified.

"No!!", she says, "please tell me I didn't. Ugh, that's so embarrassing. I'm sorry I kept you up. You should have woken me".

"It was adorable. You have the lightest, cutest snore I've ever heard. You didn't keep me up baby. I just couldn't turn off my mind is all".

"Why? What's bothering you?", she's asks me with a look of concern on her face. "You can tell me you know. You can tell me anything".

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and say, "I was just thinking about today. You know, the  press conference, rejoining my team, getting back in the rhythm of playing football every day. I'm excited about it. It's always been the most important thing in my life.......and now, well, you're the most important thing in my life and I'm worried about how this will affect you". 

She kisses me on the lips and says, "I understand, Chance. This is your job. I know it's gonna occupy a lot of your time. It's ok. I mean, I'm going to be leaving back to North Carolina soon anyways and taking care of Mama is going to be taking up a lot of my time so it's good you have something to keep you busy. It's gonna be ok".

"I'm not used to being in a relationship, let alone being married. I don't want you to feel neglected is all. I get pretty focused when I'm training and playing. I'm going to need to figure out a way to keep a good balance. You're going to need to let me know if I'm not being a good husband".

"You're going to be a great husband", she tells me and I love that she has so much faith in me.

"I want to be a great husband", I say back to her. "I know I'm not going to like having an entire ocean between us.  Now that we've been together every day, I don't want to be without you Hailey", and I hold her even tighter.

She starts to cry and I wonder if I've said the wrong thing.

"What is it?", I ask her, wondering if what I said has made her cry again.

"I'm in an impossible situation. I don't want to leave you. I want to be with you every day. It's just", and she literally starts sobbing.

"What is it baby?", I ask her as I watch the emotions pour out of her and it literally breaks my heart.

"It's just that......in order for us to be together, my Mama has to die, and Chance, I love her so much but.....I want to be with you. I feel guilty about that because my Mama is the most amazing person I know. She's been the best mother to me and Grace and it's been so hard on her losing my Daddy and having breast cancer and I would do anything for her........and yet, part of me wants to stay here with you. What kind of a daughter feels that way?".

I hold her even tighter and then I release her and look directly into her eyes and say, "The kind of daughter who just fell in love with and married a man that loves her so much that he can't even imagine letting her out of his sight for one minute, let alone days and weeks, possibly months at a time........except that he loves her so much that he will share her with her Mama, while she needs her, because he knows that when her Mama goes to heaven, that this girl will be next to him for the rest of his life and he will never let her go away for that long again".

It was almost impossible for me to get those words out and my voice even cracked a little at the end but I think I said the right thing because as soon as I was done, this beautiful girl, my wife, who was lying in my arms, stopped crying, kissed me and then climbed on top of me and then we made love. We never said another word to each other, our bodies coming together said everything that needed to be said and it was better than any other time that we've been together so far. We were so connected and so lost in one another and I never wanted to stop and yet like everything that you experience in life, it inevitably has to end.

She sits up in bed and grabs her phone and then looks at me and says, "Babe, you have 45 minutes before your press conference starts!".

"Oh shit!", I say and I laugh as I jump out of bed, kiss her on the top of the head and go straight to the shower. I take the fastest shower of my life and then get dressed as quickly as possible. I call downstairs and order up a car and then I kiss my girl on the lips.

"I love you baby. I'll text you in a little while and let you know what's going on. If you want, I'll send a car for you later and you can come check out our practice facility".

"Sounds good. I love you too. I'll see you a little later", she says and with that I leave for the press conference.