His Chance

Hailey - Chapter 16

I'm a mess. I've been hold up in the bathroom for about half an hour now. I've been crying so much that I thought I was going to get sick a couple of times but I didn't. I look at myself in the mirror and it's not pretty. My eyes are red and swollen and my nose is red too. I decide that I've got to pull myself together. Eventually I'm going to have to leave this bathroom and I don't want Chance to see me like this.  I blow my nose and wash my face but I still look bad. I left all my stuff in the other room so I can't even reapply my makeup to try and cover up the evidence of my emotions. I try to figure out how I'm going to get my bag without Chance seeing me when my phone vibrates in my back pocket. It's a text from Chance.

I'M SO SORRY BABY. THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANTED TO HAVE HAPPEN. WILL YOU PLEASE TALK TO ME?

I'm not ready to talk about this right now and I certainly don't want him to see me like this.  I text him back.

NOT YET. I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK. I WANT TO BE ALONE. PLEASE SET MY BAGS OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM DOOR.

I set my phone on the sink and then have a seat on the closed lid of the toilet and wait to see what he'll do.  Moments later I hear some movement outside the bathroom door and then I get another text.

DONE. 

I walk over and open the door and grab my bags and bring them into the bathroom. I unzip my suitcase and remove my toiletry bag. I decide that what I really need is a shower so that's exactly what I do, I take a shower.

The hot water feels amazing. This is definitely what I need. The steam relieves some of the pressure that's built up in my head. I step out of the shower and wrap myself up with the most comfortable, fluffy towel I've ever felt. I look at myself in the mirror and my eyes are still red but they are not as puffy as they were before. I brush out my hair and then brush my teeth. I remove the towel and stare at my breasts in the mirror. Why did I have to be born with the BRCA1 gene mutation? What is my body going to look like should I decide to have a preventative mastectomy? Will Chance still be attracted to me or will he be attracted to other women; women like Lorna and Kara who have bigger and more beautiful breasts. The thought of him being with those women just makes my heart ache. I know he was with them before he even met me but just knowing that they have been held my him and that he has been inside them makes me start to cry again. I wrap myself in the towel again and try to get a hold of my emotions. Just then, my phone starts to vibrate once again. I bet it's Chance wondering when I'll be coming out. I pick up my phone and to my surprise it's not Chance. I have a call coming in from my sister. I don't know why I'm surprised, Grace has a way of always knowing when I need her.

"Hey Gracie", I say, as I answer my phone, but then I think to myself that maybe she's not calling to check on me but to let me know that something has happened to Mama. "Is everything alright? Is Mama ok?", I ask her and I immediately stop thinking about my husband and his former conquests and focus on what my sister is going to say.

"Don't worry Halo. Everything is just fine here. Mama actually had a really good day today. I'm not calling about her; I'm calling about you. Um, Drew just got off the phone with Chance and he told him about the the two women that you both ran into as soon as you got to London. They both thought that you might need someone to talk too. So, how about it, Halo, tell me what you are feeling?".

I stay silent for a minute as I think about the fact that Chance called Drew and talked to him about what's going on with us. Should I be mad that Chance talked to Drew about something so private? Or, should I be happy that Chance is reaching out for help in an effort to fix things with us? I don't know. I don't know the answer to that question.

"I'm feeling so out of place here in Chance's world. Grace, I was so excited to come here to London and see where he lives but now that I'm here, well, I don't know if I can do this".