If Only I Could Read The Stars

CHAPTER 4

'Dear Diary,

I wish I could tell the whole story, but I don't know what happens beyond the stars. Maybe their magic makes everything fall into place. Maybe nanna is the one that plays with them.

I wonder how he was the chosen one for me. Maybe he is not, but I like to think he is. Warm shivers engulf me whenever I think of the way he caught me, it was the light I needed that day.'

As I was writing, my phone started buzzing like it never did before. The screen was full of notifications. Through the bunch of messages from my mum in which she was telling me how to properly wash Sasha, I found a completely unexpected text, sent to me almost an hour before checking my phone.

9:30pm, Ivan

When are you coming back? I've been waiting for you...

Well, maybe there actually was someone I should have said goodbye to before leaving, somehow.

10:18pm, Lena

Hi, Ivan! Long time, no see, but this long time should have given you hints about the way things are going now in between us.

Maybe it was my fault, maybe I should have said something, not just leave hints from now and then.

10:19pm, Ivan

Do you think I didn't notice, Lena? Nor I don't notice the things that happen now? Who is he?

10:22pm, Lena

Ivan, people move on from their ended pasts. I don't need to give any further explanation.

10:22pm, Ivan

Our past is not over yet.

And that was the final message that night. I was tired, but I couldn't even fall asleep. What did Ivan want from me?

Maybe I couldn't fall asleep because I kept thinking of Ivan, but maybe I couldn't fall asleep because I could see my phone's screen opening, new notifications in the inbox.

1:02am, Einar

You're in the school's group chat now, Lena. It will take you a while to get used to it, this is what happened to me when I moved here.

So, neither is he from here.

1:03am, Lena

Thank you, Einar. Why aren't you sleeping?

1:03am, Einar

I can't. I simply... can't. Haven't been able to sleep for a while. Why aren't you?

1:04am, Lena

I was thinking...

1:04am, Einar

About... what?

1:05am, Lena

About human nature. About the way the present passes while we're thinking about the past. How we cannot accept sometimes that what happened in the past is left in the past.

1:06am, Einar

I'd love to hear more about it.

1:07am, Lena

There's a lot to talk about, but I'm afraid the night won't be enough. One day, I'll tell you everything on this subject.

1:08am, Einar

Tomorrow is Saturday, right? So, we don't have to go to school. Why don't we meet up tomorrow to talk more about everything?