If Only I Could Read The Stars

CHAPTER 7

My feet had acted before I thought or analyzed the situation. I was running completely naively towards my apparent happiness, him. The harsh wind was ruffling my hair, but not my mind because I'd never had a clearer target. I had to save him. No matter what happened to me.

I was fighting with the snowflakes, as if they were warning me of something, but do I ever listen?

Einar was there. And I couldn't walk back home without him.

'Lena! Lena, I'm here!' a desperate voice I didn't even know was his began to haunt me. Maybe it was all in my head.

But the stars never lie to me, I knew Einar was there.

The further I was going, the more I was sinking into the impenetrable and endless darkness of the night. As I was running, I could picture myself in his arms, holding him tightly and telling him everything I was hoping to tell him one day. My stomach started to tighten and I began to believe that the happiness I thought I was feeling was only on the surface because I'd never felt emptier before. I was filling up with the darkness all around me because he was not near me to fill it up with joy.

After moments that felt like an eternity of agony, the silence resettled all around me. I stopped running once the desperate voice did the same. I was surrounded by the darkness which, in a second of inattention, managed to penetrate my soul. Einar was there, I could feel it, but where was he?

'Einar!' I felt subtle tears making room in the corners of my eyes. A bitter knot was strangling my throat, the words could hardly come out of my mouth.

With slow movements, a steady hand covered my entire right shoulder from the back. A twinkle appeared in my eyes and I wanted to turn back, to hug him forever. But he put his other hand on my left arm, so I couldn't move at all. He started leaning closer to me, I could feel his jerky breathing in the back of my neck. His hand moved from my right shoulder upwards to the back of my ear, he started playing with my hair. My stomach started to tighten in a too unusual way, were they butterflies of hope or fear? When he began to slowly touch my cheeks, my heart started to add an extra beat to each one.

Where was his perfume?

When his grip began to loosen, I quickly turned around. Those green eyes were unmistakable even in the dark.

'Ivan...'

And that was the moment he defeated me.

'Lena! Lena, we can finally be happy together.' He clasped my hands in his, as if what I wanted didn't matter at all.

I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I gave up.

'Where is Einar?!' the last piece of energy came out of me.

'You don't need that. I am here with you, not him.' the never-ending arrogance came out of him.

'Humor has never been your strong point, has it?'

'Who says it had to be funny?'

He slowly started to touch my cheeks with his cold palms. I was feeling like a prisoner trapped in the same cell, no matter how hard I was trying to evade. He wrapped my cheeks in his rough palms and stuck his forehead to mine. I couldn't get away from him, no matter how hard I struggled. I was hopeless and had no escape.

'You and me...' and the intensity with which he was speaking slowly began to wane until I heard him no more.

And he disappeared.

He disappeared in the unending darkness.

And I could see all of that. The light saved me.

'Einar!'

He was looking at me like the most precious thing he'd ever seen. At least this is how I felt. A sweet smirk appeared in the corners of his mouth. The smile that appeared on my face when I saw him immediately wiped away my tears. I was fully and completely covered in joy.

I wrapped my hands all around him. He hugged me tightly. His scent brought me back to the peaceful world I had been living in before all of this happened. There was something with it that was bringing me comfort. But maybe I loved it only because it was his.

Einar was hugging me, holding my shoulders. I could feel my stomach starting to tighten. His hands touching mine were giving me goosebumps. That was the ever ending hug that I wished it never ended.

The world stopped for a while and I felt like he was feeling the same. He was holding me like he had missed me for more than a few hours. And I was holding him like it was the last time I did so.

But soon afterwards, something like a feeling of quilt embraced him. He slowly took his hands off of me, almost like being happy was forbidden to him.

But I know it's nonsense.

'We need to call the police!' he quickly said.

Although I knew it was the right thing to do and although I wanted the same thing, I couldn't. I just couldn't. I didn't want Ivan to be a prisoner, just like I was to him.

I turned on my phone's flashlight and looked all around me. I wanted to give Ivan a last glance before it all ended. But the area was empty. Just Einar and I in the heart of the city.

'Too late now!'

'Let's go!' and that was the first time I'd ever heard him growling.

I could see a lit lantern from far away. Till we got there, the road was cold, empty and dark. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his presence. And his scent.

I should have taken warmer clothes that morning because everything around the city was freezing, including me. I'd never been colder before.

He was wearing his warm jacket.

'How old were you when you moved here?' I curiously asked, trying to revive the conversation we had before, like nothing out of norm happened.

'Oh, look! Light!' he responded like I hadn't asked what I asked.

I thought he didn't hear me so I tried to continue the conversation he started.

'Yes, I thought I wouldn't see that again!'

'And the moon. The full moon.'

And that was the moment I understood, he was ignoring me. Ignoring everything we had talked about, everything that happened. I was just another person on his way back home.

And we stopped talking for a while, a few minutes, a few hours. Until I got back home, but he had already got to his, so I was all alone.

A new chapter in the diary had to be written.

Are you curious what happened next? What Lena did or... even Einar? Then stay tuned here. Chapter 8 is waiting for you!!!