When The Bell Tolls (Darra Blackwell)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

My earthly body collapses against the wet concrete as my vision shatters, the moon and the stars glinting above me. A yell and footsteps alert me that someone is running toward me, but it doesn't matter anymore because I'm dying. My heart races in my chest, thudding against the ice shards surrounding my heart, sending them flying through my body. A slight chill runs through my veins as I struggle to get a breath in. My skin crawls as time slows down, my eyesight flickering from colors to blackness.

Deep, dense darkness falls around me, and a slow, soft heartbeat hits my ears, but I can't be sure if it's mine or not. I can't feel anything inside my body, and I can't see anything, either. My body -- if it's a real body or not -- is light and airy, like I'm floating above the snow clouds that hang over River City, Australia, higher than the moon, stars, and planets. Maybe that's where I am, wherever that may be. I never really was religious, but if I had to be somewhere, I hope it's a place like heaven. 

Time seems to pass by slowly in the dark place I find myself in. I'm not even sure if I'm alive or dead. What if I'm in limbo? Are there religions that believe that people are stuck in limbo forever and ever and ever? What happens to those people -- souls? A shiver runs through my body, which makes me believe that I might still be alive, but that could be a remnant of my previous life that could be behind me, holding me back from moving forward. 

Even in limbo, I'm still stuck in my head. My little friend -- anxiety -- is coursing through my very being, causing the darkness to hum and shake around me. Little pinpricks of colorful light break through the black blanket that surrounds me, but there is still a bad feeling swirling around and through me. I have no clue where I am, or if I'm alive or dead. I'm worried about everything, and then Darra pops into my mind's eye, smiling at me with that dimple peeking at me. Was he the one who found my earthly body lying on the cold, wet streets? I'm sure he's terrified for me, but when my body started failing me then and there, I wasn't afraid. 

That's something I've never felt before, not in life or death or whatever this is. The panic that was rising around me lessens ever so slightly as I remember how I actually faced my anxiety, and how I have now faced death. Isn't that the final level of someone's life? Death is the final step a person has to take, and many go their whole life worrying about the day that they take that final step. I used to be afraid of death because I wanted to live the rest of my life. How was I living, though, when I was paralyzed by my own mind?

But . . . things have changed after I was cursed by the bell in the woods. 

These past few days have tested me past what I thought was my limit. My anxiety was at an all-time high because of my book club as well as the death that seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I was terrified that my final moments were going to come when I least expected them in a strange place on the whole other side of the world. I wanted to see my parents in person again, I wanted to live my life to the fullest, and I wanted to stop worrying for once in my life. 

So, that's what I did when I felt my life coming to an end. I let go of my fear, I let go of my anxiety, and I was ready for whatever was next. 

A blinding light flashes above me, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Behind my eyelids, I can still see the bright yellow light surrounding me, warmth spreading through my body. A breath forces its way into my lungs, and I sit up, my arms dropping to my sides. My eyes flash open, and a gasp escapes my lips when I see a large tree reaching toward the heavens above it. Rolling green hills lead to the gigantic tree. I'm sitting on one of the highest parts of the hills, facing the tree that's blowing in the small, sweet breeze. 

A man hops down from the highest bough, easily landing on his feet. The grass touches his ankles as he parts the neon flowers popping up from fresh earth. His hands gently brush against the tulips and bleeding hearts, and they expand at his touch, releasing a beautiful, sweet fragrance into the air. A bright blue sky blankets the place around the two of us, a small sun hiding behind the branches of the tree. I can hear a river trickling behind me, the flow of the water slow and gentle and not rushing away, like my mind can at almost all times.