The next few days passed in a flurry of activity as I prepared for school to begin. As much as I tried to talk myself into believing that Lauren's silence was a good thing, it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped.
My actions at her party had been careless, but sometimes the worst ideas felt the best. Even now, after a week, my pulse sped up, and I couldn't help but grin at the thought of how I'd gotten her. The awareness I'd gained while living abroad made things that were once threatening seem more trivial now.
Nervousness still surged in my chest at the thought of Lauren, but I no longer felt the need to avoid her at all costs.
"So, are you in the fishbowl today!" It wasn't a question. Dinah bounced up next to me as I put my books away. Her hand gripped the top of the locker door as she peeked around it.
"I'm afraid to ask." I let out a small sigh without looking at her. It was the first day back, our first day of senior year. I'd had a full morning of Physics, Calculus, and P.E. I grabbed another notebook for French, which was my last class before lunch.
"So you haven't noticed everyone noticing you today? In a school of about two thousand people, I think you might've caught on that almost all of them were talking about you," she said with a giggle.
"Did I sit in chocolate pudding again? Or maybe a new rumor is circulating that I spent the past year hiding a pregnancy and gave the baby up for adoption." I slammed my locker door shut then turned to head to French, knowing she'd follow me. I really didn't want to hear what people were saying, partly because I didn't care what bullshit they were circulating now and also because it was nothing new.
France had been a peaceful respite, but Shelburne Falls was probably the same old, same old. Thanks to Lauren, my high school experience had been one long succession of rumors, pranks, tears, and disappointments. I hoped for more this year, but I wasn't holding my breath either.
"Not even close. And actually, the talk is good. Really good."
"Oh, yeah?" I absent-mindedly responded, hoping she'd sense the disinterested tone and shut up.
"Apparently, your year in Europe has transformed you from ubergeek to ubercool!" Dinah broadcasted sarcastically, knowing that I had never been ubergeek.
Not that I was ever considered ubercool either. My default identity had always been "of those on the outside", but only because the long arm of Lauren Jauregui had deemed me less than acceptable in most social circles.
I jetted up the stairs to the third floor for class, sidestepping other students as they rushed down to their next destination.
"Mila, did you hear me?" Dinah jogged behind me, trying to catch up. "I mean, look around you! Would you stop for two seconds?" she whisper-yelled, eyes pleading when I glanced back at her.
"What?" Her urgency to pass on the latest gossip was amusing, but all I wanted was to walk into school without wearing my invisible body armor. "What's the big deal? So what? People think I look nice today. Today! What will they think tomorrow after Lauren gets to them?" I hadn't told her about Lauren's party and what I'd done. If she knew, she wouldn't be so optimistic about my chances.
"You know, she wasn't that bad after you left. Maybe we're worrying about nothing. All I'm saying is that—" Dinah was cut off.
"Hey, Camila." Ben Jamison came up behind dinah and reached behind me. "Let me get the door for you."
I stepped aside, giving him room to swing the door open. Having no choice but to end our conversation, I pursed my lips and waved at an open-mouthed dinah.
"It's great having you back," Ben whispered as we walked into class, me first and him close behind.
I widened my eyes and had to stifle a nervous laugh. The reality of Ben Jamison engaging me in small talk was too surreal.
He starred on the football and basketball teams and was one of the best looking guys in school. We had been in French I and II together, but he'd never spoken to me.
