𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫, 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

31. meetings with Gavin in the drain.

T H I R T Y - O N E
meetings with Gavin in the drain

"This is the north drain. It should've gotten washed into the gully. Or, if it got flushed out from this drain, it would've been pushed out to, like," JJ explains, gesturing widely into a pile of rubbish floating in the marsh.

"Somewhere in this rubbish." I finish JJ's sentence, not pleased with where this conversation is going. I really, really don't want to sort through the rubbish—the stress of what I could find makes me shiver. I know the stuff I throw out and I know I wouldn't want to touch someone else's version of those things.

The blond boy looks up at me and winks, "Correct."

Kie huffs from her position standing next to me, "Oh my God. People who use plastic should be shot." I can't help rolling my eyes at her overgeneralization and simplification of the plastic epidemic.

It was awkward when I saw Kie and Pope again, the blow-up was still very fresh for everyone. Kie brought me into a hug that I had to convince myself was appreciated—in reality, I wanted to shake her off and just say that we can move on without all the 'I'm so sorry' bullshit. She made her choice, as did Pope, and they need to own their shit. At least Pope only gave me an apologetic smile and asked me how I slept. 

I can't help but wonder how long it'll take to get back to normal with Kie. I want to get back to normal but I can't do that when she's going to pat my back and treat me like I'm stupid for having feelings and being upset with how she treated me. It was shitty. It made me feel like I was something to be ashamed of.

I don't even know if I wanted an apology, they mean nothing. It doesn't change what happened. She said what she said and did what she did.

Am I perfect? Not even close. But I am trying to be a good person and a good friend... and good to JJ, whatever we are.

Waking up with JJ tucked next to me, his arms wrapped around me like I was planning on changing my mind and running away somehow didn't make me feel like I was trapped and in fact, made me feel safe; they even made me smile because of course he had slipped a hand under my shirt and had a grip on one of my boobs.

"Okay, personally, I love plastic. Use it every day. Love the stuff." JJ says while sifting through the plastic bags and packaging trying to find the gun.

"Hopefully, you recycle it and don't let it flush into the ocean."

I can confirm he does nothing of the sort. Sometimes—and I mean about once every few weeks—I will pick out some things that definitely need to be recycled but, for the most part, I let him do whatever he wants. I'm not his keeper.

Pope looks up at Kie and I who haven't been helping sift through the rubbish, you know what they say three is a crowd. "I thought you would say something like that, so... rubbish bags." He says pulling out a roll of black rubbish bags.

Kie smirks down at Pope, "Did you just proactively protect the environment?" She asks like it was some sexy grand gesture. 

Pope shrugs, "Maybe."

I want to gag. If JJ did anything like that I would say fuck him loving me kindly I'm filing a restraining order.

"Should Mabel and I leave you two alone, or what's going on?" JJ breaks the thick silence, Pope rolls his eyes and throws the roll of bin liners at the blond who just about catches them.

An hour later we have searched and thrown all the rubbish—I say 'we' I mean everyone else but me—I put myself on carrying the full bin bags into the car duty; an important job if I may say so myself, but still no gun.