𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫, 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

15. i'm in crain.

F I F T E E N
i'm in crain.

I'm hungover and I'm uncomfortable.

My brain hurts from hating myself and because I haven't drunk water in way too long. I'm the cliche Diet Coke girl who refuses water.

I stare at the glass of water that sits in front of me, on the table at The Wreck. I don't want to be here, I want to be in a coma for as long as it takes for me to forget last night.

The water doesn't taste nice, it tastes off and it's making me feel sick. It's room temperature which is probably the main issue. I already feel sick, it's making me feel double sick.

Why am I even here?

The chair I sat in because the world was spinning screeches along the worn wooden floorboards, eyes turn to me. "I'll be back in a second," I smile.

I know The Wreck well, I've been countless times, spent dozens of nights eating the leftover food with Kie and Sarah, then just with Kie. The floorboards turn to tile as I near the bathroom, I hear footsteps follow behind me.

"Did you think that was code?" I ask JJ.

"No. Unless it was?" He looks hopeful.

I shake my head. "My parents already have enough ammo, I don't need to add a bathroom hookup at my best friend's restaurant to the list."

He nods, "That's fair. I actually came to offer you this," he grabs out a blunt.

I eye the blunt, then look at JJ. "I think my brain is melting due to not having a break from intoxicants," I state.

"So that's a no?" He asks.

"No, it's a fact. I'm saying yes, we can climb out the women's bathroom window, the men's goes out into a tree," I push the door open and JJ follows. I push open the window and pull myself through, JJ follows behind me.

"Why were you in the men's bathroom?" He asks as we sit on a nearby bench.

I look across at him and take the blunt. Putting it in my mouth, he pulls out the lighter and lights the end. I take a puff, blowing out the smoke into the wind, before handing it over. "Take a wild guess," I look at him.

"Rafe?"

"God no, he'd never," I shake my head.

"Was I not the only side piece?" He looks confused.

"Nope, I had my first kiss in there. It was awful and I tried escaping out the window, but there was a tree," I smile and take back the blunt.

"Who with?" He asks as we continue swapping over the blunt.

"Garry, the short one, started balding at seventeen," I explain, painting a really nice picture.

"Really? Isn't he like... six years older than you?" He does the maths. Incorrectly.

I shake my head, "Five. I think I was fourteen, I'm pretty sure he was nineteen."

"Wow. So he was bald when you kissed him?" He looks concerned at the balding aspect.

"Yep. He wore the beanies before he did the combover. Everyone still knew he was bald as fuck," I explain. "Who was your first kiss?"

"Someone age-appropriate, and not balding," he took the blunt back, an amused look on his face.

My head begins feeling light, the sickness begins fading. The self-hatred is still very much there, though. "I don't tend to go for guys around my age," I tell him, finishing off the blunt and throwing it on the ground, squashing it into the ground with the toe of my shoe. I'm not trying to start any forest fires.