! CRINGE ALERT !
What happens when the star quarterback of Atlantia High School grows an interest towards the shy, adorable but smart girl in his grade? Come and join Heath and Holly on this rollercoaster of emotions.
This was my first ever book so...
I was the biggest asshole, douchebag, scumbag to be alive.
I didn't realize what I really was doing until that night. Somewhere deep down, I knew I was falling for her hard and fast, but I remain in denial.
I hated seeing her so broken, I hated that the tears that escaped her eyes were because of me and I could do nothing.
I hated myself.
She didn't deserve any of the shit I put her through. She had no play in whatever happened in the past but anger blinded me so much that I never thought twice before following my twisted plan.
And now that I've achieved the goal I wanted to achieve for months, why am I feeling so fucking guilty? The answer was obvious, but the problem was I never meant to fall for her and yet here I was.
I regret what I did, I regret that I didn't tell her all this sooner, I regret hurting her so much and maybe a tiny part of my also regretted falling in love with her.
Whenever I saw her smile genuinely towards me, a realization always crossed my mind that this beautiful human deserved a lot better than me. And then the guilt followed, but I always made myself remind how I felt when I was hurt and it helped soothe my mind only for a while.
Then that night when Gianna revealed that she was the one who actually initiated the kiss, at that moment only one single thought flickered across my mind: What have I done?
But the damage was already done. It hurt a lot seeing her in that state, it hurt even more when she said those things and my mind absolutely went blank when she told me she loved me.
I loved you and still do!
After hearing her confess that, panic seeped into my body, mind and heart. I couldn't let her go, I just couldn't.
But I had to.
I deserved whatever she did and say. And I deserved much, much worse.
For the next few days, I tried to talk to her in school. I even brought her her favorite flowers. I knew it was not an apology but I needed something as a conversation starter to get to the serious talk.
And all she did was ignore me which hurt like a bitch but as I said earlier, I deserved it.
I tried to trick myself into thinking that just maybe, she didn't mean what she said about being in love with me. I thought maybe she'll get over it not so quickly but by the end she will be able to make it through.
And I was proven exactly wrong by Friday when I saw how she had lost weight in such a short span of time. Yet I still did nothing.
On Sunday, I had enough. She had to listen to me no matter the circumstances. Of course, the decision would be up to her about us but she could decide after she had listened to me.
And that's why I was standing in a vet shop at twelve in the afternoon. Once she told me that if she'd ever have a dog, it'd be a poodle.
I knew it didn't make up even one percent for what I did but I just wanted to do something instead of nothing.
So I bought her a red colored toy poodle and left for her house. I initially chose for the brown one but then the red one reminded me of hair color so I bought that one.
I stood in front of her house and rang the doorbell twice.
Mrs. Caddel opened the door and exclaimed seeing a puppy on her doorstep.
"Hello, Mrs. Caddel."
After she was done petting the puppy she saw me, "Hi, Heath. Holly didn't tell us you were stopping by,"
At that I grew nervous, "Uh yeah actually, I wanted to surprise her with him."
I picked up the puppy in my arms for emphasis.
She gasped, "That's so sweet of you. Come on in," she gestured inside and I followed her.
Inside while Holly's mom called her downstairs, I greeted Holly's dad and explained again that I wanted to surprise her.
A part of me was grateful that she didn't tell her parents while the other part of my reminded me how alone she must be since the incident.
"She's always wanted a poodle since she was five. At that time she was still really young and we didn't want to risk it so we'd decided that we would buy her a poodle as one of her high school graduation gifts."
I laughed uneasily, "That's sweet. I bought the red one because it matched with her hair color."
Her parents had a tender expression on their faces.
When Holly didn't come downstairs after fifteen minutes, her mom told me to follow her upstairs and surprise her there and then only.
After knocking twice, her mom opened the door. She wasn't there so her mom went towards the bathroom to check meanwhile I placed the puppy on the floor and a white envelope caught my eye.
I picked it up from her nightstand and it had my name on it,
Heath.
A frown marred my face and a sudden scream startled me out of my daze. I quickly pocketed the letter in my jean's pocket and went towards the bathroom where Mrs. Caddel fell on the floor.
And nothing could've ever prepared me to see what happened there.
Holly's body was on the floor, blood flooding from her wrist and a blade lay in her lifeless hand.
